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Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.
1 John 2:6 (ESV)

What are you doing to help the widow-to-be?

Much of what we in this ministry encourage widows through has to do with our own grief over having to walk about this world husbandless. But there is an opportunity for all of us widows to also consider how we can be light to the thousands of currently married women around us who have not really given a lot of thought to what is about to come.

An ancient phrase comes alive.

It’s that thought that reminded me of an odd phrase my eighth-grade Latin teacher made me memorize: “Hodie mihi Cras Tibi“. It means, “It happened to me today, tomorrow it could happen to you.”

Since the phrase had a rhyming sing-singing sound to it, it had bounced about in my head for most of my life with no purpose until it suddenly rang true. I was in a theater glancing around a sea of women, most of them sitting happily with their husbands. Hodie mihi. Cras tibi. My heart suddenly ached for what many of these women would feel when what happened to me happens to them.

That’s when the Holy Spirit urged me to pray for all women who will one day become widows.

Show the newer widows that life’s purpose doesn’t end with widowhood.

But not just pray for them, demonstrate with the life God gave me that life doesn’t end when the “death do you part” becomes a reality.

I became a widow at a young age. Young enough to find purpose in raising kids alone, date, and enjoy a long-term relationship with someone. All of that was fulfilling.

And as my children launch and I set out as an independent empty-nester, I get to fully experience what older widows experience – the true solitude of widowhood.

Beauty that emerges through a widow’s journey.

Through many years of solitude, something beautiful and unexpected has emerged- a deeper, more tangible feeling of being wrapped in God’s love and an even more resilient inner confidence that exudes as a result.

Of course, I still have moments of self-doubt and fear, like everyone. But that thread of anxiety and insecurity that used to flow through me constantly in my younger days has dissolved little by little over the years as the Holy Spirit has made His presence in my soul more known during this journey.

And it comes out as a joyful living and an abundant life.

That abundant life shows through my warm interactions with my adult children and my friends, and with neighbors and strangers. It’s how Christ could walk so boldly through scathing criticisms of the most elite in ancient Israel and do so with confidence.

Never could we have His complete level of confidence – after all, He’s part of the Trinity. He is God, in the flesh. But as His creation, made in God’s image, and completely loved by Him, we can walk in His confidence, because we know who we are at the core.

1 John 2:6 (ESV) says,

“whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.”

The world will continue to tell you that you’re alone and unloved. Not so.

Because we live in a world that doesn’t always embrace those who are alone, we have to find Christ’s love on the inside so that we shine to others so clearly that our love is irresistible. I’m not there yet. I still keep running into those who don’t find me irresistible (lol), and I’m humbled. After all, did I expect to be as magnetic as Christ?

It’s hard when you get unloving signals from the world. But you can remember that even Christ wasn’t loved by all. Just keep abiding in Him and loving others unapologetically. Occasionally, little blossoms grow in the hearts of others. Those moments reveal how you get to be Christ in someone’s life and bring a flutter in my heart as I joyfully look up and say, Let’s do it again, shall we, Jesus?

And we do. Again and again,

It’s the Holy Spirit reminding me as He did in that theater, looking around at some of the many married who will eventually lose their husbands. Show them their lives have a purpose after widowhood.

Dear Lord,

There are a million new widows each year in the United States alone. It’s a season of grief for each of us, but it’s also a season of opportunity for each of these widows to grow in their walk with You. Help the sister who is reading this to feel a great purpose in her heart to live out Your Will for her and feel joy in that purpose. Amen.