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For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God… For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies…

…the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
Romans 8:19-27

In a culture that practically worships youth, vitality, and new love, … it’s hard to be a widow.

Even some churches in our me-driven world drift into sermons that make you think God wills everyone to be happy, healthy, and wealthy…

But, does that really resonate with what you notice about life? Look around. Does anybody spend their years in middle and late life tickled-happy, gorgeously-attractive and comfortably-rich? Not from my vantage point.

And that’s okay.

I never bought into the doctrine that our lives are supposed to be blissful. But does that mean we should see life through gray lenses and resign ourselves to tears for the rest of our days?

Of course not!

But, tears and joy are both vital ingredients for a life worth living.

Tears have you sharing in the suffering of Christ.

Before Christ Himself suffered, He instructed us to take up our cross and follow Him. That means along with our difficulties in life (like losing your husband), we should each expect that because we follow Christ, we will have our share of persecution along with Him.

Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted
(2 Tim 3:12 ESV)

But there is another big picture of our suffering. It mirrors the suffering in this world as a whole, which points to the return of Christ.

Just as the world groans as it gets closer to Christ’s return, we too will groan.

Think of your life as part of God’s story of the creation of this world and completion of His Glory in this world. In Romans 8, Paul tells us the the world is going through groans. Many believe Paul is talking about natural disasters or predators in the wild. Anytime something big happens, like Hurricane Katrina, 9/11, or COVID, sermons return to the verses above in Romans 8.

But Romans 8 should be read completely to notice what Paul explains next. That we too will groan out of pain of living life in a fallen world. We could live the most righteous lifestyle and still we will experience suffering in this world.

In some cases, even the more righteous around us experience the worst kinds of pain.

It’s tempting to think you deserve your suffering, but most likely, you didn’t bring this pain of grief upon yourself.

Job is a great example. God allowed Satan to create havoc in Job’s world, and his friends had no idea that Job was taking a direct hit from the enemy. God fully understood and allowed it to happen. In their limited understanding, many of Job’s friends began to ask Job to confess whatever sin he must have done so that God would restore Job’s riches. God rebuked these friends for forgetting that God can both love someone but still allow suffering simultaneously.

And that goes for you.

By understanding “why all the tears” you are free to experience your sorrow along with new joys.

When you understand that your grief is normal you can fully experience it and begin feeling joys of future hope.

Jesus Himself, met with two of His disciples shedding tears on the road to Emmaus just after Jesus’s crucifixion. Before recognizing Who He was, the disciples shared just how hopeless the crucifixion left them feeling. But Christ answered their fears with what the crucifixion and resurrection really meant – that by dying for their sins, Christ opened a way for eternal salvation and therefore, Hope. It was then that He revealed his Identity to these disciples.

The encounter can be summed up with “Why the tears?” Christ acknowledged their sadness but revealed Himself, showing that Hope reigns.

Have you let Christ reveal Himself to you in the midst of your tears?

Dear Lord Our Father,

Give each of these readers a new revelation of You. Help them understand that two things can be true. They will shed many tears on this grief journey and at the same time feel bursts of joy as they remember what You have in store for them eternally. Amen.