{{item.title | uppercase}}

We are very excited to share about another of our previous team members. Lori Reynolds Streller is now Lori Walker! Here’s what has been going with her since she was part of our writing and speaking team. If you are looking for the articles she refers to in the interview, they are linked at the bottom of this page. Enjoy!

And you can download it here.

Lori was widowed in January of 2014, after a lengthy cancer battle with her husband. She joined the AWM team later in that year.

A verse from Scripture that is really meaningful to her right now is found in JEREMIAH 17:8 NIV:

“They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

What are some things God taught you during your early days of widowhood?

God taught me so very many things in those early days. Because my husband’s passing did not come as a surprise, and we had a couple years spent living in anticipation of his dying, God had already shown Himself s a faithful Sustainer, Strengthener, and Shield. But nothing can prepare a heart or soul for the grief of losing the God knit you together with in marriage.

Those first days were so excruciatingly painful; physically and emotionally. God really emphasized for me in those earliest of days the importance of Grace.

Extending it to others around me and extending it to myself.

I would force myself to place my feet on the ground each morning …which wasn’t always easy…staying cocooned in bed was tempting, but I had children depending on me emotionally, physically and financially. I had to be the leader of our family. I just kept praying for the strength to put one foot in front of the other. He provided that strength one step at a time.

I also learned that the easiest way for me personally to navigate around the gaping hole within me was to practice an attitude of gratitude. Choosing to be thankful for what I did have and for how I could see God working around me helped fill my thoughts with positive moments. It didn’t necessarily make the grief any easier or diminished the missing, but it did help me survive each day.

And REST! I learned that rest is necessary and does not make me lazy. I would set a timer and give myself permission to just sit and breathe for a spell. Often only ten minutes. Breathing deeply in, and naming a part of my body to focus on relaxing as I exhaled. Working my way up from my toes to my forehead.

How has God called you to serve now, in your current season of life?

My current season of life finds me married to a wonderful man in a blended family of seven. I feel God’s present calling on my life is to be the human nurturer for these lives He has entrusted to my care. I am passionate about honoring my late husband and my current husbands’ late wife in the guiding and loving support of all five of our children. My calling is in our home with my family. I still work full time – four days a week from our home office and once weekly I commute back to my old hometown about an hour and a half away. Those long commuter days allow me time with one of our college sons while I am in town and I cherish those date nights! Other than work and serving our family by keeping up with household chores, I stay extremely busy supporting the various events our crew of kiddos participate in. We seem to have something going with a kid a minimum of four or five days a week. My hope is that my diligence in being present and involved blesses them with a feeling of love and security. My ministry is the gift of my time to show each of the six other members of our family that I am in their corner.

What would you tell yourself about God if you could go back to the early days of widowhood?

Oh man, I would tell her to buckle up! I would have NEVER dreamed of where God was taking me in my future. So although I was walking in an extremely close relationship with our Father, and I trusted Him implicitly../Maybe I would her to “never say never” and to enjoy God’s time as He was working diligently to create the path for my future.

I knew God was my foundation and my covering. Knew it in my head and could see it in areas of my life pre-loss. Post-loss I KNEW IT in the depth of my bones. I would tell myself to keep leaning into Him as His intimate and intricate love was going to blow my mind.

What are some blessings you have received along your widow journey?

As I stated before I learned about grace and extending it to myself. Which helped me let go of my habit of perfectionism. I still often get private messages from widows through social media or “friends of friends” who are given my cell number I try to pass on the importance of learning into Jesus each moment. I also try to share about digging deep to search for all the little blessings God is pouring out around us. I will say, the journey has had ups and downs and there have been days and weeks and even month where i have felt confident and victorious as a solo parting widow; then there are times I feel as though I’ve been an absolute failure. God has given me the blessing of joy and I try to share that and lots of laughter each day I’m allowed to remain on this earth.

Were there any specific ways God used the AWM team or readers in your healing process?

One blessing has definitely been the ability to plug into a community of other believers who walked the journey ahead of me. Each of the team members over the years were role models for me in some form or fashion. Whether through their writings, working along side them at a conference or getting to know them “behind the scenes” in their day to day life – those connections were a buoy for me when the grief waves would take my feet out from under me and try to rip me out to the deep waters. It was an immense honor to serve others alongside the team. While serving thousands of our readers, God worked at meticulously binding the unraveled edges of my heart and smoothing over the sharpness of the gaping hold within me.

Ministering to each woman in a private message or replying to and praying over each comment that would be posted on social media helped me realize that while widowhood feels isolating, there is a community. I was not alone.

Creating the art pieces for Tonight’s Might provided hours of creative expression for me during sleepless nights. Just me and my praise music letting the Lord lead my work was healing to my soul and kept me focused on the goodness of our Lord and His intimate caring for each of us.

Speaking at conferences, writing devotional, working behind the scenes, all of it drew me closer to God and kept my focus on Him.

And without having my focus be on Christ, for me personally, healing would neve have been able to occur. I don’t actually feel as though I’m fully healed. Quite frankly I don’t’ think I will be healed of this grief until I take my own final breath. But during the healing process I am learning that is OKAY.

If you want to read some of Lori’s articles, click here and here and here.