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It was 4:50 pm.

Trying to wrap up everything on my to-do list

before heading home from my office,

I was busily working away

when my phone rang.

“Hi, Beautiful. Do you think you’ll be able

to get away right at five tonight,

or will you need to stay late?”

“Hi, Handsome.

No, I should be able to leave here

in about ten minutes.”

“Instead of running errands,

do you think you could just

come straight home?”

“Sure. Is everything ok?”

“I think I might need to go somewhere

for some help.

I’m not feeling quite right.”

“I’m on my way.

Don’t worry.

I’m coming right now.”

I grab my keys and purse,

and as I head out the door,

I mention to a co-worker my husband needs me

and I have to go.

NOW.

Buckling my seat belt and starting my car,

I phone my husband.

I talk with him all the short six to eight minute drive home,

assuring him

with each turn and each intersection passed

I am almost there.

“I’m going to call an ambulance,” he finally says.

“That way I will be able to get in

to see a doctor sooner once

we’re at the hospital.”

“Ok, Handsome.

Hold on, I’m coming.

I’m almost there.

I’m almost there, Handsome.

Love you.”

And with that,

our conversation ends.

Traffic begins blurring with panic

and erupts in heart cries to my God.

“Oh, Lord.

Be with my husband.

Help him, Father God.

I’m almost home.

I’m almost there, Lord.

Help him.

Help me be able to help him

once I get there.

Oh, Father God,

I’m almost there.”

A half a minute or so later,

I pull into the drive.

It’s 4:58 pm.

I race to the front door

and into our home.

“Honey, I’m here.

It’s ok, now.

I’m here.”

My ears and my heart

met with only a deafening silence.

“Honey!! I’m here!!”

I turn the corner of our hallway

and see his legs and feet (and his phone),

lying motionless.

And, I see him there,

lying in the bathroom,

and I know.

I was too late.

Only,

looking at the radiantly peaceful

look on my man’s face,

feeling surrounded

by the gentle hush of angels,

experiencing as never before

the peace that can only be

the presence of God,

I know in the deepest place of my heart,

God is here,

in our bathroom,

in our home,

in this moment,

in this timing.

I was almost there,

but God,

God is here.

Here with His kindness and His mercy.

Here with His “in an instant” blessing.

Here with His arms open wide.

Here with my husband then,

here with me, now.

And all I can do,

as I hold his hands tight,

rest my head on his chest,

and cry until I feel as though

my own heart will give out,

is thank my God.

It is God who blessed me with this man

twenty-five years ago

when we first met.

It is God who blessed me with the gift

of being his wife almost sixteen years ago.

(We had dated ten years

before saying I do

because he had to be sure he was sure!)

It is God who blessed me to be the one

to live alongside this man

as he lived out the day to day living

of his extraordinary life.

It is God who blessed me with his last words,

and almost his last moment.

And, it is God

who was with my husband

at his last breath.

When I was almost there,

God was there,

more than I could have ever hoped or imagined,

more than I could have ever wanted for my husband.

When I was almost there,

less than half a minute away,

God was there,

and it was more than obvious

God was (and always will be)

more than enough.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7