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Breakthrough moments: This was a topic at my church one week, and it got me thinking … What was my breakthrough “God moment”?

There have been many throughout my life and through this journey of widowhood, but one moment early on seems to stand out. It was January 2015, after my husband of nearly seven years shockingly died by suicide at just 31, leaving me in a gamut of emotions while trying to raise our one-year-old son.

Though I knew leaning on the Lord was the only way I was going to survive circumstances of this magnitude, I felt as if I was flailing about. A week or so after his death, still in shock, I walked into the prayer room at our church, and a woman was there.

That’s when something changed–she told me to just open my Bible and start in the Book of John. “There is hope there,” she shared.

So I did. As I poured over the pages, the Lord broke through. I began to cling to Jesus, and He has been my rock. He always has been, but I’d never experienced such life-altering pain. I gave it all to Him: my pain, guilt, anger, sorrow, and future, and totally surrendered to HIS will for my life. Having no idea what He had in store for us, I knew He would take care of us and that my husband Michael was with Him. That moment brought hope and peace.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 (NIV)

An Unexpected Chapter

I had hope because of that moment at church that started a series of breakthrough moments, including meeting my second husband, Keith, a miracle that only God could have orchestrated.

I didn’t think remarriage was even possible. Though nothing is perfect, my marriage to my late husband, Michael, was pretty close to it. I always said he was my soul mate. In fact, my biggest fear in life was losing him. So, when he died, I had no plans to ever remarry. Ever. It was so far from my mind.

Yet, fast forward just seven months later, and another moment happened when I met a gentleman named Keith. He was walking his own broken road, relying on the Lord to get him through. I enjoyed talking with him and knew something was different. I shared I had lost my husband, and he shared a Bible verse.

We became friends, and I resisted anything other than that. This wasn’t my timeline, and it wasn’t what I had planned! There were many moments during our relationship when I thought I would call things off, not because I didn’t like or care about Keith, but because I was afraid. However, through the fear, I could feel the Lord gently whispering, “Just go”. Keith was so patient, and our relationship grew.

The Lord says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)

To be honest, this road left me wrestling with hard truths … I know that the Lord never plans for a child to be fatherless or for a wife to lose her husband but He allowed it, so there must be something that I can’t see from here. And sitting in that unknown can be difficult.

But the Lord never leaves us. Only through God’s grace have I continued to walk this road. And even in the midst of things I don’t understand, He has blessed me with the gift of two amazing husbands and soul mates. Keith and I have now been married for more than nine years. Who he is and our marriage is truly a miracle in my life.

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)

What Is God Breaking Through in Your Life?

Though they can be different, God has breakthrough moments for all of us, moments where He tugs at our hearts to follow His lead, listen, and trust. It can be tough at times because these moments and plans aren’t always on our timeline or what we envisioned for our lives. But I have learned to surrender and listen, and He has broken through–Every. Single. Time. My hope and trust are in Him.

Lord, we know You want to break through in our lives, and we want that, too. But our circumstances can be so difficult. Help us to trust, listen, and surrender to Your will for our lives. Amen.