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July and freedom seem to go hand in hand. Every year we celebrate the freedoms we enjoy as Americans. Yet I’ve discovered that while political freedom is worth celebrating, emotional and spiritual freedom can be elusive. This July is especially significant because it marks what would have been my fiftieth wedding anniversary. The man that I married fifty years ago lives in heaven now and the memories of that wedding day as well as the memories of our life together blur as I try to remember some of the ways we shared time with each other and time with the Lord.

I define freedom as the power to act, speak or think without restraint. It should be an ability to make independent decisions or choices and the capacity to act on those choices. Just after I lost Bill, I could not make any decisions without second guessing myself, much less take any actions. I had more questions than answers. My mind was confused and the direction forward was not clear. I felt weighed down, and struggled to get my footing emotionally. That first July, even living in a free country, I found freedom escaped me.

Many past July 4th celebrations with my husband were filled with red white and blue banners as well as fun in the Texas sun. Yet, there were moments after losing my husband, when those memories brought only tears and sadness. As I walked with Jesus I found verses in scripture that renewed my mind and filled my heart with God’s Word. The Lord gradually began changing my heart and now those reflections of our life together can bring joy and a smile to my face.

To the Jews who had believed Him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 8:31-32 (ESV)

When I recognized that God’s Word is truth I began to embrace my identity as a child of the King. Only then could I release my plans and accept His plans for my future. I know that God has provided each of us unique gifts and plans to further His kingdom. That gave me freedom to act, speak and think as I made choices and moved forward in my grief. I began to grieve with hope as my confidence in Christ strengthened my faith.

In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.
Ephesians 3:12 (ESV)

Freedom from fear and death. as well as freedom from sin and past mistakes allows my brokenness to be replaced with His power and grace. Knowing God’s character allows me to walk in faith and serve others. The Lord has provided friends and family to encourage me as I faced the valley of loss. I long to become who God has created me to be and trust His plans.

I will walk about in freedom
for I have sought out your precepts.
Psalm 119:45 (ESV)

Time and prayer have brought me to a place where I can walk in freedom living daily in the reality that God has a different purpose and plan for me now. I can celebrate the memories we shared and refocus on the hope Jesus provides each day. For me, walking with Christ has provided freedom from the burdens of loss and the emotional bondage grief can create. Time with the Lord, as well as physical time living with my loss has moved me to this place of emotional and spiritual freedom.

Lord,

We come today asking for You to provide freedom and direction as we walk with You daily. We long to find Your purpose and plans for our future. Give us wisdom as we seek Your will and study Your word. Thank you for giving us a future and a hope as we trust You.

In Jesus Name, Amen.