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So He said, “Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing.
1 Kings 19:10-12 (NIV)

I stood, arms hugging my body, back to the rest of the world, protecting my bruised heart…missing my husband. I was having a bad day…a very very bad day. Sunday morning worship had lost its luster, and I had closed the door to my heart just as tightly as an oyster.

I struggled through the service, just waiting to go home and lick my wounds. I stood at the closing song, ready to bolt.

But…as soon as the notes of the closing song died down…here came someone.

I have known this young girl most of her life. While her disabilities might be off-putting to some, to me she has always been a sweet reminder that love comes in different packages. Her hugs are given out to many as she sees a need. I truly believe she has a special connection with the Father as to when.

I have been the recipient of her hugs before…but not like this one. She literally ran to me and grabbed me. I was gratified…I knew I needed a hug, and God knew I would not turn it down from this precious soul (though I had been turning them down from others all morning). I squeezed her and relaxed my hold, ready to break free…but she held on tighter…an uncomfortable amount of time passed. Five to ten minutes!

And that is when I knew. God had sent her. He gave her a message directly for me, to touch a dark place in my soul no one else could touch that day. As tears slid down my cheeks, and her mom stood trying to figure out why the hug was so long, I let go…of my pain and hurts, of my “right” to them. I relaxed into the hug, seeing it for what it was. A crack began in my jaded heart, and I felt the soothing balm of the Father’s love start to heal.

I am constantly amazed at the way the Father chooses to reveal Himself to me. Sometimes it is loud love, there for all to see. Sometimes it is in the long, sweet hug of a young woman the world might consider too damaged to be of much good.

Sisters, we are still human. We are not immune to the hurts of this world just because we are widows. Sometimes, in fact, those hurts can be magnified since we must face them alone.

But…we have a God who is there and always reaching out to us. Our job is to see Him when He does…to seek Him wherever He may be found.

As we rapidly approach Christmas, it can be hard to see Him…amidst the tinsel and cyber sales and preparations…and amidst the sad echo in our own hearts. But…He is there. Reaching out to us, waiting for us to relax into the hug He sends, regardless of its package.

Seek Him, sisters! Watch carefully for how He appears to you this season…every season! Let Him be the balm for your Gilead, the Prince bringing you peace! He may be loud, or He may be a still, small voice…but He is there. Know it…believe it…lean into it…and embrace it.

Father, this life is hard alone at times. In these raw and real moments, help me to see You. I know You are reaching for me. Praise You, You always are! Give me the strength to reach for You…even when I am hurt and sad, even when life swirls around me and I am not sure I want to be a part of it. Thank You for loving me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.