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“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders…”

I posted these lyrics from this song, Oceans, by Hillsong United on Facebook just three months before my husband Michael made his way to heaven. Having experienced loss and unfavorable circumstances during my life, I thought I knew what they meant, but I truly had no idea the depth these words could take. On January 15, 2015, those lyrics became my life.

Being a Christian from an early age, putting my trust in the Lord had become second nature. But what happens when your entire life and everything you envisioned and hoped for is taken from you in the blink of an eye? What happens when our world is forever changed? Can we trust Him then?

Can we trust Him when not only our world is shattered but also our children’s worlds? When our husbands die by suicide or drug overdose, or when they are killed in a car accident by a drunk driver or cancer takes them from us – Can we trust Him then? The answer is YES, without a doubt!

“Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.”
Isaiah 26.4

When we find ourselves in horrific circumstances, we can either run away or run to Jesus. I have experienced and know that when I run to Him, my faith is made stronger – If we call on Jesus, He promises to protect us. He is the only one who can still the storm, calm the waves and bring peace in the chaos. In fact, Jesus’ presence in my life has been the strongest during my storm.

“When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me.”
Psalm 86:7

“For in the day of trouble, he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.”
Psalm 27:5

“You keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”
Isaiah 26:3

Though it can sometimes be extremely difficult to see, the Lord is always working behind the scenes for His glory and our good. Our faith and trust in Him have to be stronger than any earthly situation or fear.

The Lord’s grace and sovereignty are the reason I stand strong nearly three years later. The Lord is in control, and in the good and the bad, I will continue to call upon His name. We may not understand why our husbands were taken so soon, but someday we will. Until then, trust and lean into Him. God always keeps his promises.

Lord, We know You are sovereign, but stepping forward in our lives after loss can be so trying. Help us to lean into your love and fully trust you in all of life’s circumstances. Continue to guide us and heal our hearts. Amen.