{{item.title | uppercase}}

As the holiday season unfolds, do you find your mind and heart racing with a whirlwind of thoughts, emotions, and feelings? With Thanksgiving behind us and Christmas quickly approaching, this time of year can bring a unique set of challenges, especially for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one. This marks my third Thanksgiving and Christmas season since Norm met Jesus, and I’ve come to realize that the tension between grief and gratitude becomes particularly pronounced during these months.

During the holidays, we are encouraged to focus on all the things we are thankful for. And indeed, there is much to be grateful for. This encouragement is particularly important as gratitude and thankfulness help temper and soften the sharp edges of grief.

“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.”
1 Thessalonians 4:13 (ESV)

Thankfulness softens my grief when it reminds me that part of the reason I grieve is because I have been loved so well.

Thankfulness continues to temper my grief as it reminds me that Norm is in the presence of Jesus, hearing the words, “Well done, good and faithful one, welcome home!” The thought of him experiencing the beauty of heaven, walking on streets of gold, and worshipping with the angels fills my heart with gratitude.

However, thankfulness didn’t, doesn’t, and never will completely erase the pain of loss. But it does walk beside me as I navigate the moments when memories threaten to overwhelm…

• when I see the empty chair,
• the void in family pictures,
• when there’s silence instead of Norm’s laughter and storytelling,
• when I long for his warm hugs, hand-holding, love, and the stability he brought to our lives.

This grief, this heartache, this pain—it is real, acute, and life-altering, and still impacts every facet of our lives.

But what I’m learning is that as time progresses, thankfulness begins to tip the scales in its favor. In the beginning, grief may have screamed louder and weighed heavier on my heart. But as I walk this path of widowhood, grief, and healing, the balance shifts. Of course, there are moments when grief resurfaces, jumping up and down, screaming, and wobbling the scales. It will always be a part of my journey to some degree. However, with time, these moments become fewer and farther between. They are gradually balanced out, softened, and tempered by a heart full of thankfulness.

“A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance”
Ecclesiastes 3:4 (ESV)

So, as we enter this holiday season, let us grant ourselves permission to feel our grief. And at the same time also keeping our eyes and hearts open to the goodness that surrounds us. May we find glimpses of joy amidst the heartache and experience His peace amid the pain. Let us not fight the tension between grief and gratitude but instead flow with it. May we feel the love of those around us and be profoundly grateful for each family member present. May we cherish these moments, never taking them, or the people who fill them, for granted—not now, not ever.

Heavenly Father, we are so grateful for the blessings of beautiful memories. Thank You for the opportunity to create new memories with the family members that are present. As we feel the weight of grief, help us to experience the softening of it as it balances out with gratefulness. We thank You for Your Son, Who is the reason for the season. In Jesus name, Amen