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At Christmas time, we love to recall the story of Mary, holding her newborn baby Jesus. We decorate our house with nativity scenes, worshipful and peaceful dioramas of a Christmas miracle. Shepherds and angels rejoice and praise God for His Messiah, and Mary is honored above all for her role as His mother.

In reality, Mary’s life was filled with many hardships.

She suffered the loss of her son on the cross, yes, but did you realize she was also a widow? I honestly didn’t notice that until I became a widow myself.

On the cross, Jesus gives Mary into the care of his disciple John. So we know his father, Joseph, wasn’t there to care for her.

Also, at the wedding in Cana, recounted by John, Joseph is nowhere to be seen. Who would invite Mary and Jesus to a wedding but not Joseph? So we can probably assume that Joseph has passed away by this time. Scholars agree Jesus was about 30 at the time his ministry began, and the last time we see Joseph in the text was when Jesus was twelve. Therefore, sometime between Jesus’s ages of 12 and 30, Joseph died.

Mary walked the road of widowhood just as we do now.

However, consider that her oldest son was the Son of God, the Messiah, the Christ, Redeemer of the World. John says Jesus performed so many miracles,

“the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.”
John 21:25 (NET)

So why would He NOT save his own earthly father? Can you imagine the pain and agony Mary must have gone through knowing that Jesus could have healed Joseph in an instant or saved him from whatever tragedy occurred? And we know Jesus loved Joseph!

Additionally, Jesus’s feelings toward death are clear.

When Jesus went to raise Lazarus from the dead, Lazarus’s sister Mary fell at His feet, weeping. John says Jesus was “greatly distressed”, which can also be translated “indignant.” The Son of God, who was there at the beginning of creation, is indignant that Death even exists. It was not His plan that we should die.

We can only imagine how distraught Jesus was that His own earthly father must succumb to His fallen world.

We do not know why He allowed Joseph to die. But we do know God’s character, and He allows events and situations to occur so that He can work in the middle of those events and situations. He also does not waste our suffering. He uses it to accomplish

Mary suffered significantly.

In the book of Luke, Mary was told by a man named Simeon, directed by the Holy Spirit, that her child was

“destined to be the cause of the falling and rising of many in Israel and [destined] to be a sign that will be rejected… and a sword will pierce your own soul as well!”
Luke 2:34-35 (NET)

She knew that Jesus’s birth, life, and death would cause her great pain.

No one considers how hard Mary’s life would have been. She gave birth to a baby that was not her husband’s child, she lost her husband and became a widow, she watched her firstborn son be rejected, ridiculed, and eventually crucified.

But what were her words when the angel came to her and foretold this child?

“Yes, I am a servant of the Lord; let this happen to me according to your word.”
Luke 1:38 (NET)

She simply said yes. And not just to carrying this baby. She proclaimed she was a servant of God. And that she would follow His will to bear this child and receive all that comes along with being His mother. She trusted God with her every breath and knew He would care for her through it all. Even if she did not understand it all.

God does not waste our suffering.

And Mary’s suffering was not wasted. Her child, whom she carried through morning sickness, tired feet, and aching back, and then delivered in a dirty, animal-filled manger, became the Savior of the World. He became her salvation, in this world and the next.

Mary’s dependence on the Son of God’s peace, provision, and protection would have been her daily reality. How many people were influenced by her actions of unshakeable faith and complete trust in her son and His Father? How many people watched her actions as a widow, where she struggled with her identity, indecision, or isolation?

However, she also saw her son and Risen Savior.

She witnessed with her own eyes the miracle of Jesus raised from the dead. She was there when His church was founded. The Bible doesn’t record it, but can you imagine the conversation with her son after His resurrection? He loved her dearly, and I can only imagine the victory they both felt!

Thinking of Mary’s story is different now that I am a widow. I can appreciate how hard her human existence would have been. God did not spare the mother of His child, but He did not waste her suffering either. He used her troubles to enact His plan to save all mankind and His entire creation.

And what qualified Mary to receive this honor?

Was she a perfect human being with supernatural characteristics? No. She simply said, “Yes, Lord, I am your servant.”

Dear Heavenly Father, Thankyou for Mary’s example of faith during suffering. Help us to follow in her footsteps to have complete faith in You for our every breath. Give us your Peace this holiday season, and help us to remember that we can trust you to use our suffering to accomplish Your eternal plans. Amen.