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And in Him, having heard and believed the word of truth—the gospel of your salvation—you were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the pledge of our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession, to the praise of His glory.
Ephesians 1:13-14

The Holidays are coming. Fear, desperation, depression, anxiety and an overwhelming desire to go to sleep and not wake up until it’s over are all too familiar feelings. How are we going to make it?

The First Year

My husband was killed in mid September and the first Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s passed while I was still in shock. I have only one brief memory of those days. I was on staff at a church at that time. On Christmas Eve I was required to work like all other staff members. I was assigned to greet people in the lobby. They didn’t know and I couldn’t find my voice, to fight the plan. I needed a different plan. No one understood it was like emotional shock torture for hours. Every “whole” family that walked through the doors drove home the point my family would never be whole again. The Holy Spirit definitely carried me through that night and I am grateful for the powerful reminder of how important it is to teach others how long and how deep grief really lasts.

The Following Years

The following years, the holidays were still very hard but we made progress each year. And today, while we still miss Dave deeply, we are much more aware of the joy in our lives and can once again truly celebrate the holidays.

But we never forget, that for many, this holiday season will be their first without their loved one. They may be like I was on the first Christmas, unable to voice the extreme pain they are in. So what can those of us who have already experienced this, do to help?

What can we do?

First and foremost we need to pray for new widows. Prayer keeps our hearts tender and tuned in to the Holy Spirits prompting on how to help. We can become God’s messengers of hope with exactly the right words or actions at the moment they are so desperately needed.

I remember the second year going into a store to do some shopping, I kept seeing things my husband would have liked until I was so overwhelmed I thought I was having a panic attack. As I struggled to maintain some semblance of control, I suddenly heard a familiar voice in the next aisle. It was a widow from my church who had lost her husband years before. One look at my face and she knew I was in trouble. She started walking me around the store and just kept talking in a soothing voice, I don’t remember what we talked about but I will never forget how God sent her at exactly the right moment. She is a prayer warrior and I know she had been praying for me.

Secondly, we need to teach. Teach the church and family/friends how to love someone in grief. It’s not their fault they don’t know. We didn’t know either until it happened to us. Whatever we learn along the way, we need to share with others.

Focus on Eternity

And most of all, as the holidays come, whenever possible we need to truly focus on the eternal picture. We are blessed in new ways to know the sacrifice God made for us. The knowledge of His love for us is deeper than ever before. Our awareness of how the Holy Spirit comforts and leads us is at least tenfold of what it once was. And our hearts are forever pierced with a new understanding that the purpose of our lives is to glorify Him! We have our inheritance, let us praise Him!