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But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ. … and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, … For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
Ephesians 2:4-8 (ESV)

I usually start my Christmas season with a to-do list which helps me stay organized, but can also put me on the road to rushing around. This year I set aside the to-do list and turned to Scripture to prepare my heart.

Ephesians 2 gave me just what I needed, as though the Lord pulled a gift from under the tree a tad early and said, “Here… I had this wrapped for Christmas Day, but you should open this now!”

The chapter centers on the meaning of Christ’s resurrection. And Christ’s resurrection is the whole foundation of why we celebrate God’s gift to us on Christmas. He sent His Son here as a sacrificial gift so that we can be free.

And feeling free again is something I always longed for while in grief.

As widows, we need to remember that message of being redeemed during Christmas. It’s a time when we long to feel alive again, but feelings of grief keep us down.

Ephesians 2:4 tells us we’re resurrected alive together with Christ. He led the way, showing us life after death in the greatest reversal in history. Ever since, people who were dead have been made alive in God, with a promise of His eternal Kingdom. That includes us and a renewing after loss.

But when is that resurrection for us – eternally or now?

Perhaps you see the resurrection as a way of knowing your husband is with Christ now. And perhaps you are comforted in knowing you will eventually join your husband in Heaven.

But Ephesians 2:6 tells us it’s even better than that. It adds “now” to the meaning of resurrection. Paul isn’t just talking about the future. He uses the present tense “even now” you are seated next to Him!

As widows tackling understandably tough feelings of loss during Christmas, we can be comforted by Paul’s words.

Let being resurrected with Christ define you!

Because we are seated next to Christ, it’s He, not the world, Who defines us. We are not each the solitary widow. Our lives are a testimony to the kindness of God – right now!

But is that a platitude or do I really live out the reality of being redeemed? If you’re like me, this question sends me back to a to-do list. Like – okay- I should feel empowered now to live out His Grace and step up! Especially at Christmas, I want to demonstrate just how much I feel loved by Christ. It’s natural, it’s human. …and it’s not the answer to relieving the grief during the season.

Being busy in the holidays isn’t always the answer.

In my first few holiday seasons without my husband, I would get busy – decorating, making sure I wrapped the presents ahead of time, getting my Christmas cards sent, and trying to mingle with friends. Those “to do”s helped, but they didn’t quench what I was thirsting for inside.

Ephesians 2 says that it’s not by my own doing that I should boast. In our hearts, we’re always wanting to take credit. But God has so designed the way He ensures our righteousness at the cross that He totally removes human merit through faith. Loss can bring us to a place where we say “I have nothing else to offer – I’m only Yours, God, because of everything You have done. “

“But God” takes the pencil out of your hand

When I want healing, I’m a doer. I say, “Give me a list! I’ll tackle this.” He takes the pencil out of my hand and says, “No – I’ve got this.”

You don’t need to fix your grief this Christmas season. Trying to do that is like digging a hole in cement.

Bring Him in and let Him carry you through the season.

Of course, you’ll carry on. You’ll wrap, decorate, dress up, give, and serve. But those aren’t the “to-do”’s. Those are just your hands moving under the guidance of Christ.

Your #1 to-do item: meditate and ponder on how you are his workmanship. Yes, you always move through life, but now you are empowered with the reality that God has breathed into you.

Dear Lord.

Open the hearts of my dear sisters who are suffering this holiday season, and help them know how much You love them personally. Now. In this life. Bring them the peace of doing this season through You.