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When I enter a restaurant filled with couples on a February evening, I am reminded of love and loss. I lost my love on a February day. One of my least favorite things to do is enter a restaurant alone and request a table for one. Before I have been served my main course, emotions can flood over me. I often observe each table and notice the connectedness or community surrounding me. I find myself focusing on the happiness I perceive others have and loneliness follows. Valentine’s Day celebrations from past years flood my mind with memories and dreams of what could have been and what used to be. Culture puts expectations on us to live a “hallmark life” filled with romance and roses.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

Only when I fill my mind and heart with reminders of the presence of the Lord and His desire to celebrate life with me can I conquer my loneliness. Since losing my husband Bill 5 years ago, I have been forced to not only eat alone but learn to live alone. I had gone from my parent’s home to a college dorm and then to an apartment filled with other roommates. Shortly after those days, I met and married my husband, so I had always had a roommate.

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

Jesus’s words from the Sermon on the Mount encourage me to move from questioning my situation and God’s role in my life. My beliefs have often required a simple childlike faith. In reality, a table for one is not for just one. We, as believers, have Jesus always present. So, when we are physically alone, the presence and power of the Lord are with us. We can share a meal with God, and I can see life through a different set of lenses.

God knows our need for community. Relationships teach and shape us into the people God wants us to become. For me, God has provided others to step up and fill the void I have found after loss. Each of us can have a cloud of witnesses that are available when we pray and ask the Lord to provide. It does require us to reach out to the support system of people that are willing to include us in plans and special holidays as the calendar moves along. Those people are showing their love for God by loving and supporting us in our daily walk.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:7-8 (ESV)

I long to figure out how to embrace the solitude and accept the new direction life is headed. Now I am learning to navigate the silence around me. As I confront choices and change, it helps me to look upward. When my vertical relationship with the Lord is right, the horizontal relationships and obstacles I confront hold less power over me. I have the opportunity to reach out to others and return that love. When I serve another person, in love, I am sharing the love Jesus has provided me. The tension of giving and receiving love and support of other believers deepens my walk and purpose each day.

Lord,

As we experience change in our lives, equip us to accept what we face, and provide wisdom to embrace a deeper relationship with You. Culture tells us what we need to be happy. Show us what we need to be holy. As our losses are magnified and more obvious each day, show us ways to re-center our thoughts. Encourage us on this journey through loss by providing us community to receive encouragement and love from believers as they step into our lives and become the hands and feet of Jesus. Give us opportunities to share our hearts and needs with the support of people You provide. Give us Your presence and comfort each day as we begin to reach out to others and love and support them. Thank You for the gift of Your love in the midst of our loss. In Jesus Name, Amen.