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For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

In mid December, 1991, I knocked on the apartment door of my new, handsome neighbor, Steve, who would, unbeknownst to me, become my husband five months later. Shortly after meeting him, our whirlwind romance began. For the next six weeks we spent every evening together with Steve proposing in late January. I immediately said yes and we began planning our wedding. Ours was a story of love at first sight. We married May 18th and began living the incredible love story God had written for us. He was at the center of our marriage and blessed our marriage abundantly through the years. We loved doing everything together-church work, family, nurturing our friendships, traveling adventures, music venues (Steve was a professional musician) and golf, his passion!

I was not prepared or ready to begin my widowhood journey on January 17, 2014, when Steve passed away. He was healthy, retirement was on our horizon and, in the blink of an eye, he was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. Steve was a man of great faith, and as we prayed and talked of what we were facing, he told me God had already written the ending to his story and if this was it, he was accepting of it. Eight days after his diagnosis he suffered a fall in the hospital. In a coma for five of those days with no medical hope of recovery, he was taken off life support and I said goodbye to the love of my life, my soul mate and my best friend.

I know when I walked out of the hospital that evening, shattered and overcome with intense pain, it was God who walked for me, who breathed for me, His endless mercy enfolded me. I have learned “you will never know God is all you need until He is all you have”. I am grateful beyond words for His sustaining grace and presence in my life. He has allowed me to move beyond my brokenness to a place of strength. His provision and abundant blessings continue to overwhelm me.

I may not understand God’s plan but am accepting of it and have chosen to move forward and create the best life possible with God’s direction.

In the midst of my heartbreak, I ask Him every day to change and shape me into the woman He created me to be. I have never been closer to Him. God’s persistent nudging and speaking to my heart birthed the beginning of my co-facilitating a grief group at our church in early 2016. I have been blessed beyond measure from my involvement. He has showed me how I can love and serve others-not in spite of my circumstances but because of them.

“I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
Exodus 4:12b

This story is not mine but God’s. My prayer is He will continue to heal me and use my story for His glory! Oh dear friends, you can trust Him for He is faithful and He is your best friend. He will carry you through your storm.

Cling to Him and the HOPE He promises.

Father God, I pray You will bless every person walking through grief today and enfold them in Your comfort, mercy and give them the peace that passes all understanding. Thank You for Your unconditional love and patience with us as we find our way. I love You, Lord, and ask this prayer in Your holy and precious name, Amen.