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I recently wrote about Sudoku puzzles and an important element called “givens.” Givens are the squares that already have numbers when you begin.

The givens in a Sudoku puzzle are essential because they provide a starting point. Without them, the puzzle would be a free-for-all. There would be countless ways to fill the empty squares and no way to determine which solution was the right one. The givens provide the boundaries that guide every decision that follows.

Some circumstances in life become givens—not because we chose them or wanted them, but because we cannot change what has happened. Sadly, for each of us, the death of our husband is one of those painful realities.

But painful realities are not the only givens in this new life. God has given us something solid to build around—truths that grief cannot change. Those givens are God’s promises.

As I walked through my grief, God’s promises became the stabilizing givens in my life. Like the givens in a Sudoku puzzle, they don’t change. No matter what circumstances I face, I can count on God’s promises to remain true.

Hebrews 10:23 (NIV) tells us:

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”

With all of our children grown and out of the house, living life without my husband in an empty house became overwhelmingly lonely. I found myself working late many evenings to avoid going home to that empty house. God’s promise in Isaiah 41:10 (NIV) reassured me I was not alone.

“So do not fear, for I am with you…”

I may have FELT alone, but the given was this: God was with me.

When I had no strength, I held on to Psalm 28:7 (NIV):

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me…”

There were many mornings when my feet hit the floor, and I wondered how I would make it through another day. “Lord, be my strength,” became my morning cry. And He was faithful. Sometimes He gave me just enough strength for the next hour, the next decision, or the next step—but He gave me what I needed.

The given was this: God was my strength.

When decisions felt like mountains, even decisions that once would have seemed simple, I could lean on Proverbs 3:5–6 (NIV):

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

When my car broke down beyond repair, I faced the huge decision of buying another car on my own—something I had never done. On top of that, we were right in the middle of the COVID shutdown! Trusting God’s Word to be true, I began searching online and reached out to a trusted friend who was a salesman. Before long, I was signing the papers for my new car. When I didn’t know how to do it on my own, I trusted God to guide me.

The given was this: I could trust God to guide me.

When I wondered if my broken heart would ever heal, Psalm 147:3 (NIV) gave me another promise to hold onto:

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

I couldn’t imagine what healing would look like or how long it would take, but I could trust the One who promised to bind up my wounds.

The given was this: God could heal my broken heart.

That’s the beautiful thing about the givens in a Sudoku puzzle: I don’t have to figure them out. They’re already there. They’re settled. I build everything else around them.

Perhaps that’s how we learn to navigate a life we never expected.

We begin with what God has already told us is true.

There may still be many empty squares in front of us. We may not know what belongs in them. We may not understand why some things have happened or how God will lead us through them. And we certainly can’t see the completed puzzle from where we are sitting.

But we don’t begin with an empty page.

God has already given us some givens.

He is with us.
He is our strength.
He heals our broken hearts.
He guides our steps.
He is working even when we cannot see it.
And He is faithful to His promises.

Those are the givens we can build our lives around.

So when you look at the empty spaces in your life and wonder how everything could possibly fit together, don’t try to solve the entire puzzle today.

Start with the givens.

Hold tightly to what God has already told you is true—and trust Him with the empty spaces.

Lord, when life feels uncertain, and we cannot see how all the pieces will fit together, help us hold tightly to what we know is true. Remind us that Your promises do not change. You are with us; You are our strength, and You will guide our steps. Help us build our life around the truth of Your Word and trust You with all the empty spaces. Amen.