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In quietness and in trust shall be your strength.
Isaiah 30:15 (ESV)

One of the nicest compliments on my marriage of twenty-six years came from a young lady who was serving us one evening in a restaurant. She asked how long we had been married – at the time, we were at our twenty-three year mark. When we told her, she was astounded. She shared how she was drawn to our connection while she served us. She was mesmerized by how deep we were lost in conversation, captivated by each other’s presence, as if no one else existed in that restaurant. As she lingered at our table, she mentioned how sad it was to serve so many couples who just sit and eat in complete silence. No laughs were shared, no words – only silence.

Looking back, I did not fully recognize it for the compliment it was. But, now, no longer able to share those dinners with my husband and when I do go out for a meal, I understand what this young lady was referencing. I, too, see so many couples share nothing but a table. Their silence is almost tangible. Now, more than ever, I miss the ease of that relationship and those conversations with my life partner.

Today, those conversations are with God.

The dynamic of talking with Him, though, is different. You must get used to this form of conversation, and learn its differences. Although I do not physically see Him, I know He is listening. And if I sit quietly, I hear His answers.

Since my husband’s departure from this earth, I have spent many nights in silence. Gone are the easy banter and the support of the one person who helped me out when trouble arrived. His simple words of encouragement lifted my spirits. Gone is the soothing sound of his voice. For so many nights, the room that once echoed with his infectious laugh now only serves as a chamber for complete quiet.

Silence – It can be deafening.

But, it can also be golden.

It takes a concentrated step to move beyond that silence. It takes steps toward the One who is always present and always near if we just reach out to Him. In fact, the Bible tells us that it takes complete silent solitude to hear His voice. It is His love that will carry you through the deafening days of your grief.

When everyone else has moved on with their lives and you feel there is no one left to listen, there is always Jesus.

O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted;
you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear.
Psalm 10:17 (ESV)

There are many ways to move toward breaking the bond silence has on you. Healthy choices may include a shift from less world to more Jesus. Less television, more Christian music. Put away the internet surfing and pick up your Bible study. More prayer instead of worry. These moves toward Christ can break the quiet evenings when you feel the walls closing in. It is the first flutter of your heart towards God on any given lonely day when He comes racing to your side.

I am so thankful I serve a Lord who is always available.

I know when my sleepless nights turn into tearful prayers at three AM, He is listening. When I am wrecked with loneliness, I know He is near. Feeling the stranglehold of deep grief surrounding me, I turn to Him as my comfort. I have moved toward an ever deeper fellowship with my Lord so I am better able to silence the silence. Or rather, I can FILL the silence with His voice. His word encourages and His promises are still true.

This temporary life is made for fellowship with Him. And although I greatly miss those conversations with my husband, I will choose to fill the moments we shared with the One who calls me His own.

Heavenly Father, please be with these ladies, Lord. We hurt from missing the conversations we shared with our husbands. Please give us the strength to keep our eyes focused on You. We know You have a plan for all of us even in the midst of this pain. Thank You for always being with us when the walls of silence close in. Amen.