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Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
Psalm 23:4 (ESV)

My phone rang the other evening after dinner. I’m not in the habit of answering unknown numbers, but I felt I should answer this from a local area code.

Hey, Liz. This is ______________.

I couldn’t believe my friend’s husband was calling me – we hadn’t spoken in quite a few years. My friend had passed away several years ago, but her husband, like many of us who are struggling, had stopped attending church many years before. It was just too hard for him as he dealt with her very early onset dementia AND raising their kids still in the home. Our church had not been a place of refuge for him, like it had for me.

It is so good to hear from you! How are you and the kids doing? Fill me in on your life!

We talked for nearly an hour. And in our chat, he mentioned the “shadow of death” that he walked through as his wife struggled for years. When you must make those end-of-life decisions for the person you love, it can be crushing for sure. The shadow of death, as mentioned in Psalm 23, is more than just figurative when YOU are the one making decisions no one should ever have to make for a loved one.

As I considered the shadow of death, I found this story from Donald Grey Barnhouse:

His wife passed away while his children were still young. He wondered how to explain it in a way they would understand. Driving home from the funeral, Donald found the illustration he needed. A large truck passed by them and briefly cast a shadow over their car. He asked his children, “Would you rather be run over by a truck or by the shadow of a truck?” They replied quickly that the shadow was a better option. He then said, “Well, children, your mother just went through the valley of the shadow of death, and there’s no pain there either.”

Death is a shadow, a temporary shadow, that can cover the believer in death. But it isn’t a real “death” because we can never be separated from God as a believer in Christ. Remember in Romans where Paul said that NOTHING can separate us from God’s love – NOTHING! God has changed the sting of death from defeat to VICTORY! (Romans 8:38)

As I spoke to my friend on the phone, another verse came to mind:

…precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.
Psalm 116:15 (ESV)

His wife’s death was precious to God, according to this verse. God was waiting for her as she stepped across the threshold into eternity. His loving arms open to receive her. No sting of death. No more pain. It was only a “shadow of death” because Christ had defeated death.

My friend and I talked about the valleys we had been through with losing our spouses. But my reminder to him was that our precious loved ones made us who we are today. We know they are in heaven and that God had their days numbered (Psalm 139:16). It was a comfort to know his decisions at the end of his wife’s life would not have changed her end date because God knew her beginning and her ending here on earth. And God will continue to walk with us as we raise our children. God was faithful before, and we can trust Him to be faithful in the future.

Lord God, what a blessing to know heaven awaits us. Knowing that You have been faithful through the shadow of death, we know You will continue to be faithful through the rest of our lives. Thank You that You are sovereign, wise, and loving, even when we don’t understand. Amen