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In January there is a lot of talk about resolutions and goals for the new year. Maybe you haven’t been one who sets resolutions or maybe you are one who loves to set goals. Wherever you are on that spectrum, here are some ideas to help you. Goal-setting can be part of the process of finding yourself again after a loss.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you BECOME by achieving your goals.

Henry David Thoreau

Keeping goals is hard in normal life, and grief can make it harder. But goals can give you a sense of purpose and allow you to focus better. Goals can add to your peace of mind and time management. Set goals that are specific and attainable. You will have a greater chance of success if you have more specific goals. I will get you started with a few ideas and you can go from there.

Just putting “be happy” on your to-do list won’t work!

Biblically we can set goals because we serve a big God who can accomplish the impossible. But we also want to remember His will and not ours with every goal we set.

Proverbs 16:3 Reminds us to commit all we do to the Lord. He should be our motivating factor, bringing glory to Him and pointing others to Him.

Becoming transformed by Him in His power is our over-arching goal in life.

When we yield to the Holy Spirit in our lives, He will help us become all we can be in Christ. And when we set goals, we can remove distractions in transforming our minds (Romans 12:1-2)

Physical health

How can we take some small steps to take care of our bodies in the new year? One verse that reminds us that our bodies are His temple is 1 Cor 6:19-20. With this verse in mind, let’s consider some ideas you may already be doing and others you might consider adding.

1. Walking to the mailbox– Fresh air does wonders for our spirits
2. Showering — it is the best place to cry and also makes you feel great when dried off
3. Eat out less and fix meals at home instead–saves money and tastes better
4. Make an appointment with your doctor for a physical–you might have been ignoring issues
5. Take a 30-minute nap each day–naps help your mind heal

Spiritual health

What we think about affects us. The apostle Paul tells us to think on things that are praiseworthy – Phil 4:8

1. Start a prayer/gratitude journal–you will see your progress
2. Go to church (if you have gotten out of the habit)–find a new one to attend or return to previous one
3. Read a devotional focused on healing from grief (check out ours!)
4. Make a praise and worship playlist – our Sunday posts can get you started on one
5. Pray for a mentor to walk alongside you–what a blessing a mentor can be

Mental health

1. Attend GriefShare or other Christian support group-look online
2. Choose a new book to read so you can look forward to bedtime reading-something fun and light
3. Set time limits on social media – it can be very depressing
4. Look around your community- pickleball, artistic classes, Pilates or yoga classes, community orchestras – something to look forward to each week
5. It is okay to say no to some things and yes to others – be intentional

Financial

1. Make phone calls that need to be made–life insurance or death certificates for example
2. Make an appointment with the bank or other institution–take a friend along and have lunch together
3. Take care of any copies that need to be mailed–ask a friend to help get them mailed for you
4. Pay bills you have been putting off–reward yourself after you do it
5. Sort papers for 30 minutes each week–it has to be done so set a timer

Grief

1. Give yourself 30 minutes to cry and feel the pain each day
2. Look at his clothes in the closet or drawers for 15 minutes and feel your emotions
3. Text one of your family members about a memory that includes them so you can share in the memory together
4. Choose your favorite picture of your husband and buy a new frame for it
5. Spend 30 minutes one day looking through old photos

Grieving is hard work but must be done in order to heal. Thankfully we have a God who is acquainted with sorrow and understands our sadness. I hope some of these ideas spur your thinking as you pray yourself into a new year. God is so creative and He can help you find all kinds of ways to heal physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

Father God, we are so blessed to have a God Who understands our sorrow. Guide us as we enter this new year and begin to do the hard work of healing. You are so gracious with us so help us give grace to ourselves and others along the way. And help us set reasonable goals for each of our unique situations. Amen