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But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.
James 3:17 (ESV)

Looking for answers

Becoming a widow thrusts us into a world of decision-making. Unfortunately, it is also when we are least able to think clearly. When the State Troopers showed up at the door to tell me my husband had been killed, I immediately had to start making decisions. Who do I call? How do I let the kids know? How do I navigate a safe situation to tell them what has happened? I called one of my daughters and she was driving home from a church meeting. I am forever grateful that God helped me control my voice and guided her to call me once she got home. And then the multitude of decisions the next day. Who would be staying at the house? Which funeral home were we going to use? When was the service going to be? And on and on.

The decisions I needed to make just kept coming. Some I was able to make. Other decisions friends graciously stepped in and helped me make a decision. But as the decisions became more complex I started running into problems.

Watch out for bad advice

Recently I saw a conversation on another page for widows, where a woman wrote in asking about what to do about a family situation she was dealing with. It was a very complex situation. The advice was almost unanimous to take a certain stance. Only two in the long list of replies encouraged her to take the situation to God in prayer and allow Him to lead her. In this situation, it was clear that all of the replies were trying to protect her from a potentially very difficult situation. It brought to mind something early in my widowhood that was similar. Everyone was trying to help me make a decision. They wanted to protect me. Everyone knew how fragile I was. What they said made perfect sense.

But God’s plan was different. He was so clear in what He was telling me to do, that I didn’t even question it. I obeyed. That obedience led to one of the biggest blessings in my spiritual journey I’ve ever experienced. I am so grateful God put me in that position. To listen to Him and obey despite the counsel my friends gave me.

Waiting on the Lord

One of my favorite books in the Bible is Job. I know many feel quite differently. On the day of my husband’s service, I woke up with my heart set on the beginning of the book of Job. Where God makes a deal with satan that he can take away all of Job’s blessings in life but He can not hurt Job. Some might think it was cruel of God to let Job lose all of his possessions and family. What My heart was set on was the sovereignty of God. That He knew Job would not fail. God was the only One who knew the bigger picture.

Job’s friends did not understand. They counseled Job to change his ways. They believed he must have done something wrong for God to allow these things to happen to him. And the longer it went on the more they became convinced. But they were wrong!

Many places in scripture tell us to seek wise counsel:

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.
Proverbs 11:14 (ESV)

Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.
Proverbs 15:22 (ESV)

But we can’t allow others to make the decision for us. We are the ones who will be accountable to God. We also need to make sure that it really is wise counsel, not worldly counsel. There is a big difference. We need to compare what they are saying with what we know to be true in scripture.

All for His Glory

The world teaches us to put our needs first. God teaches us that He will provide for all of our needs. The world also teaches us to take action now. To pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. And to watch out for ourselves because no one else will watch out for us. Scripture teaches us to wait on the Lord. To lean not on our own understanding. And above all to trust God.

God is sovereign over everything. And He is the ultimate source of wise counsel. We need to seek Him first and then seek out other wise counsel who are also seeking Him. By doing so we can ensure we have heard correctly and are aligned with His will. We must get it right because it not only benefits us but it is all for His Glory! And like Job, we cannot fail if He is Lord of our life!

Thank You, Lord, for Your Sovereignty and Goodness! May all we do glorify You! Amen.