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I live in an area of the United States where we get to experience all four seasons of nature; spring, summer, winter, and fall. The warmth of the summer sun, the vibrant colors of autumn, the stillness of winter snowfall, and the bursting of new life in springtime all bring immense joy and serve as reminders of God’s creative power and majesty.

Just as nature has its seasons, we as widows, also have seasons of grief.

In Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, (ESV) we read about the different seasons of life.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away.”

A Time to Die

Like newly fallen snow covers the ground in winter, overwhelming shock, sadness, and despair envelopes us during that first season of grief. We struggle with the truth of verse 2 … “a time to die.” It’s difficult to comprehend the reality of what has happened. During this season, we wrestle with God in our attempt to make sense of this loss. And it’s ok; He understands our hearts and knows the pain of losing a loved one. But let’s always remember to rejoice in the certainty of eternity!

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16 (NIV)

A Time to Push Through

As we move into the next season, the shock of our loss begins to wear off and we find ourselves struggling with conflicting emotions. Like the flowers that lay dormant in the frozen ground of winter and in the spring begin to push through the ground, it takes everything in us to move from moment to moment. Yet we know we need to keep going, pushing through. During this season it is necessary to allow ourselves to continue “a time to weep” but also remember there’s “a time to laugh” as we push through the “ground” of grief.

A Time to Heal

The third season of grief; summer if you will, is “a time to heal”. The intensity of our grief subsides as we begin to accept the reality of our loss. Peace and a renewed purpose in our lives emerge. In a sense, the sun begins to shine again! However, just like there are unexpected thunderstorms and rain in summer, we may experience sudden waves of grief that take us by surprise.

A Time to Build Up

The fourth season brings a sense of renewal and hope. As we continue to move forward in our grief journey, it’s “a time to build up.” Just like the fall season, color comes back into our life! We are energized to move into a new season, not of grief, but of life. A life that is different than we had planned for but, nonetheless, a life that has a story to tell and a hope to share!

These different seasons of grief are a normal part of the healing process, and it is essential to honor and acknowledge each season as it comes. Just as each season is unique, so is the grieving process unique to each individual; there is no timeline or right way to grieve.

Whatever season you are in, remember “For everything there is a season” and God is the keeper of the seasons!

Dear Lord, my prayer for my sisters is that whatever season they are in they will remember You make all things beautiful in its time. I pray they will submit to each season. And they do draw closer to You, experiencing the healing of their broken heart.