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How do I know when I am running AWAY from dealing with my grief? I was considering this recently while talking to several newly widowed friends at my church. Keeping busy can be helpful but it can also keep you from feeling the grief you must experience to heal.

I believe you can take time to regroup during grief which benefits your grieving and healing process.

When my husband passed away, I was left to raise our six children alone. My days were jam-packed with school activities, shuttling children to sports or music activities, trying to remember to grab groceries, and trying to keep the house halfway presentable. When night came and the children were all tucked away in their beds, I could finally take a deep breath and relax. I missed the adult conversations after all was quiet so I had to be very careful that I didn’t just turn on the TV to fill the air every night.

I had to choose carefully what I filled my mind with. Was it just to escape or was I being entertained? Are both okay? Or are both wrong? Maybe a little of each?

The answer? It all depends on your heart attitude. Like so many aspects of our spiritual journey, it is the heart that determines the outcome. If your heart is dependent upon Christ, then the outcome will be completely different than if the heart is dependent upon yourself.

Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28 (GNT)

We can have the freedom to step away from our grief at times. Those times help us unload our heavy burdens on Christ so He can give us rest. That’s what we desire more than anything, isn’t it? Rest!

One idea of regrouping would be community. Finding community within your church is a great idea. Some widows have started their own widow communities in their towns. Other widows have attended AWM HOPE™ Conferences. These are wonderful ways to regroup and find rest.

The first step according to the verse above, is to “come to Me”. Sit quietly in prayer before Christ. Praise Him for His love and thank Him for all the blessings in life. Then open your Bible to Matthew 11 and read it aloud back to God. You could say something like, “I come to You, Jesus. I have so many heavy burdens and I am so tired. You promise to give me rest when I come to You. I ask for rest within my grieving heart today.”

God loves you and wants to carry your burdens for you. He provides ways to help you regroup as your heart heals.

The next step is to ask God, “Now what?” Instead of asking why this or that happened, ask how you can move forward. You might find that He gives you creative ideas that you never considered before. Ways you can come along side other widows in community. Perhaps allowing you to help them regroup in order to begin the healing process.

And the next step is doing the next right thing. The next right thing might be calling your pastor and get some names of widows in your community. Call them or stop by and meet them. Some of our friends have made lifelong friendships this way. They plan dinner or movie dates together. Pray, asking God to show you the next right thing.

And consider joining OUR community of widows. Comment and pray for our readers on Facebook. Pray about attending our annual AWM HOPE™ Conference. Or even pray about writing a guest post for us.

Running away from grief prevents healing. regrouping allows God to begin the healing process. It will be different for everyone but with one thing in common – COME TO ME, Jesus says. regrouping is running to Jesus with our burdens and letting Him carry them.

Jesus, thank You for Your love. You show it in so many different ways in our lives. Help us come to You with our heavy grief today and every day. You are the only One able to carry our loads for us. He us regroup today instead of running away. Give us community in order to begin the healing process. Amen