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Have you ever paused to reflect on how your perspective of life changes over time, especially after loss?

Before my loss, life certainly seemed more clear-cut – options were:

• this or that,
• happy or sad,
• either/or,
• flowers or weeds,
• positive or negative,
• grief or gratitude,
• roses or thorns…

However, since the passing of my husband Norm, I’ve come to realize that life is far more nuanced than I once realized.

The stark contrasts that once defined my worldview have given way to a realization of the layers, complexities, and shades that color every aspect of existence. This shift isn’t a denial of the steadfast principles or unchanging character of God, but rather a recognition of the evolving lens through which we perceive life’s experiences.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Hebrews 13:8 (ESV)

Several months after Norm’s passing, I stumbled upon a meme that struck a chord within me. It posed the idea that some people see a field of roses while others only see the thorns. This idea prompted me to contemplate my own perspective as it did not seem that simple to me.

The truth is, I’ve felt the sharpness of those thorns – they’ve left their mark, causing pain, drawing blood, leaving scars. Yet, amidst the marks and scars, there also exists an undeniable beauty in the roses. Their petals are velvet soft to the touch, their colors deep and vibrant, their fragrance sweet and alluring. It’s as though grief has granted me the ability to see beyond the surface, to acknowledge the pain while also deeply appreciating the beauty intertwined within life’s tapestry.

Roses and thorns.

In this journey of grief and healing, it’s okay to hold space for both the pain and the beauty. The roses and thorns are not mutually exclusive. Remembering the pain doesn’t diminish the beauty, nor does celebrating the beauty negate the reality of the pain.

Grief has taught me to embrace the complexity of emotions and perspectives, allowing room for the coexistence of joy and sorrow. Gratitude and grief. It’s a delicate balancing act – acknowledging the thorns while reveling in and savoring the fragrance and beauty of the roses. In doing so, I’ve discovered a sense of resilience and gratitude amidst the trials and tribulations of life.

And as I continue to navigate this journey we call life, I am reminded how familiar Jesus is with the sting of thorns. He who willingly endured the thorns and the cross in order to provide us the beauty of relationship with Him.

Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross…
Hebrews 12:2 (ESV)

In the end, it’s not about denying the pain or ignoring the challenges, but as we walk hand in hand with Jesus, finding the beauty amidst the thorns and allowing the colors of joy and sorrow to paint a richer, more vibrant tapestry of life.

Heavenly Father, we pray that as we walk this journey full of roses and thorns that You help us not lose sight of the beauty of the roses while we are feeling the pain of the thorns. We are so grateful You are with us each step of the way and hold us closely as our hearts are hurting. In Jesus name, amen.