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Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, … so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Strive for peace with everyone, … that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble,
Hebrews 12:12-15a (ESV)

Remember when social-media arrived?

We unwrapped it with delight and drank in the possibilities. For the first time, we could connect to droves of friends and loved ones at the drop of a hat.

We no longer had to wait for reunions every ten years to find out what classmates were up to!

And wow, everyone looked great, didn’t they?

While social-media only shows the world what people want to show, it’s still fun.

On the other hand, when life doesn’t feel like a happy family photo album, it can be hard to see the smiling faces of others who have the life you used to have.

During those seasons, it’s tough to post anything “Hallmarky” on Facebook.

To be completely honest, at times my grief was so acute that just seeing others living the life I was supposed to live out with Tom made my stomach squirm.

And if I let myself dwell there, jealous, self-centered thoughts would surface. These people don’t get just how fragile life is! The only thing separating their perfect life from my lonely walk is them pretending they will live forever. The reality is even they won’t be with their true loves forever.

I’m glad I never acted on those thoughts publicly. I knew my heart would heal.

After years of healing, I’m finally able to post my share of “Hallmarky” photos.

Then something happened to remind me how vulnerable we can be to bitter thoughts. A dear friend began commenting with self-pitying comments. He was only being honest about his heart-wrenching predicament, but his comments had a sort of “it must be nice” edge to them that broke my heart.

I managed to reach out to him with compassion, but what a reminder to us to own our response to grief. Rather than acting on bitterness, we can help our healing along by extending gratitude for other people’s happy situations.

This goes beyond those perfectly-happy-looking social-media posts. I check my reaction when someone calls me with good news. Am I truly filled with joy? If I’m tempted to rain on their parade, that’s my queue to stop. Don’t bite into that bitter root.

Rather, I lay that bitterness before God. Paul explains this in chapter 12 of his letter to the Hebrews.

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble”
Hebrews 12:15 (ESV)

Remember Who’s you are when the chips are down. A normal first reaction is to begin biting into a bitter root. It’s also normal to have sin at our core. What’s not normal is to be saved by the Grace of Christ.

And as a daughter of the God most high, you can fervently call out to Him, “Abba Father!” He can raise you above the normal bitter reactions to be different and act differently.

In spite of your loss, you can have joy because you know the Hope of things to come.

Use that Hope to get you up. And I’m not talking about pick yourself up by your bootstraps. Just the opposite. I’m talking about surrender. To Him Who gives you Hope. When you surrender, you get that He is in control and it’s not the good life you are owed. You can’t get your old life back, but you can find joy in glorifying God right where you are.

Our years with our husbands are gone. But what’s coming is going to be amazing. You are His. When life is comfortable, we tend to be giddy about the eternal Heaven to come, but when life gets tough, we shouldn’t lose sight of that giddiness over what God has in store eternally.

Acknowledge the Truth of our Savior like you never have. Then try showing His glory by cheering for those having the good life. Rather than focusing on the sad circumstance of a widow, lets shout loudly about the glory of our coming Savior!

Lord, please show my sisters in grief that their lives can shout glory even more loudly than those “Hallmark”-looking photos they see all over social media. Give them peace and contentment in You like they’ve never experienced before. In your precious Son’s name, Amen.