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The Lord will be your everlasting light,
and your days of sorrow will end.
Isaiah 60:20 (NIV)

Grief is the price we pay for love.

Grief – it has been said by many that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is not a sign of weakness or lack of faith – Grief is the price we pay for love.

I was introduced to this thing called “grief” when my husband suddenly made his journey to heaven.

Grief became my constant companion. Many changes took place. First, there was the shock that left me numb, empty and in a fog, making it difficult to function. Then came physical changes – weight loss and sleepless nights. Mix in some emotional changes – anxious thoughts about my future. Then add some lifestyle changes – a move to another state. There were some social changes – wondering who I actually was. And add a dash of spiritual changes – trying to decide God’s will for me. With time, some of the initial feelings of grief have lightened as decisions have been made and details were worked out. But, heartache and loneliness continue as the realization of the loss of my husband deepens. Realizing the finality of death leaves such a hollow empty feeling over my whole being.

Eighteen months have passed, and most people think I’m supposed to be “getting over my loss” and “getting back to normal”. People look at me on the outside and think it’s true-I am back to normal. Sometimes I feel like the duck that looks calm on the outside but is paddling as hard as it can to stay afloat!

I have made progress, but those looking on the outside do not see the pain still weighing me down on the inside. Most people resume their busy schedules, and as long as I do not appear to be broken, they think I’m okay.

While those around me respond to what they see from the outside, God sees me from the inside!

He is aware of my circumstances, my pain – every second of it, and my emptiness. The death of my husband was no surprise to Him. He knew I would be a widow – He also knows this is not the end of my life!

Please understand, I will be the first to tell you how blessed I am and how much I do not like feeling so unsettled inside. Even when grief causes me to feel alone, afraid, and sorry for myself I still have the assurance that He will never leave me or forsake me! Because He is Lord over every loss and heartache, He also is the Lord of all comfort and compassion. I may not know how long this process will take, but He promises that my days of sorrow will end!

Lord, I know that You care for each and every widow and understand the struggles and feelings we experience since losing our husbands. Fill us with hope. And help us to look forward to the day we can complete the work You began in us. Help us to grow in You, living with a passion and purpose for You. Open doors that will allow us to share the love You have for us and encourage others. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning”. Amen

Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.
Psalm 30:5 (NKJV)