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We often get asked about when we should date again and what that looks like. Many feel like God has closed that door for future marriage and some sense God opening their broken-hearts to heal and experience love again. Whichever area you find yourself, neither is better or worse. Approach either by trusting God and building THAT relationship FIRST. One of our team members writes this about her experience. We trust it will help you as you navigate life’s journey.

He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3 ESV

I was married to a wonderful man named Bill Rickard. He made my heart flutter every time I thought of him. As I walked him Home to Heaven, I grew to love him more than I have ever loved any other human(except my daughter of course). I grew to understand the love Christ has for me in that He was willing to die for me. That’s the kind of love I felt for Bill. I felt his heart beating in my chest, and he felt mine in his.

When Bill died, my heart was not merely broken, I felt it was removed from me.

I was a walking zombie with no feeling. Did you feel that way too?

For years I concentrated on just healing and growing a renewed heart: one that loves my friends, family and daughter, growing closer every day to my Savior. After a couple years, I began to feel that this renewed heart was no longer closed off. It could possibly love a man again. I began praying, asking if these feelings were from Him. His answer, I felt, was yes. So I decided to enter the “dating pool”.

I went on several dates with a lot of Mr. “Wrong-for-me’s”. The more people I met – the wrong people -the more I missed Bill. At each “interview” I found myself comparing to my “gold standard”…and all came up lacking.

Venturing into dating with the full intention of sharing my life with, and, more importantly, my heart with, brought up an issue I didn’t realize existed. I had forgotten to tell my heart to beat again.

It is ok for me to consider loving someone again.

My heart doesn’t have to move Bill out, to make room for a new person. I now realize I have mourned the loss of my marriage and that special relationship. When I see Bill again in Heaven, it will be different. So, here in this world, this side of heaven, it’s ok to love again…to tell my heart to beat again.

What a wonderful freedom to know that I don’t love Bill less; my heart is just growing bigger.

This new person will get a woman with a bigger heart because I was loved so well by Bill. I can remember fun times with Bill. This does not diminish the love I may have for someone else. It simply enhances it.

But it’s scary to think about loving again.

What if I give my heart to this new fella and God takes him home before me?

What if I get hurt?

God lovingly whispers to me, “I’m here and I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

• Am I willing to forego one day of joy in a loving, God-glorifying relationship because I am not promised tomorrow?
• Do I want to live with a heart open to love?

Tell your heart to beat again…tell your heart it’s ok.

While I hold onto my broken heart, my hands are not open to the blessings God MIGHT have for me. But in time, I felt it beat again, open to loving again, open to wherever God might lead me. Slow beats at first and, with each breath, picking up speed.

Heart, beat again, be open to love. But all the while also praying, “Lord, fill my heart as only You can.” It is a beautiful balancing act.

Dear Lord, I am so humbled by You and how You work in my life. I am trusting in You to keep my heart beating in You first and foremost. I love You, Lord, and I thank You for never leaving me. Thank You for renewing my heart and for making it possible for me to love again. Amen