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Fear not, for you will not be ashamed;
be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced;
for you will forget the shame of your youth,
and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.
Isaiah 54-4 (ESV)

Do. not. fear. Oh, but how do you stop yourself?

When I look back over the years of my journey as a widow, the only moments I regret are those when I let fear stop me from taking a bold step I knew in my heart the Lord was asking me to take.

Look for encouragement in God’s Word and in examples around you.

Isaiah 544 (ESV) reminds us not to fear. He says we won’t be disgraced and even declares we won’t remember the “reproach of our widowhood”. While Isaiah was referring to the time of exile from Israel, don’t we as widows feel like we’re in exile, doing life alone when we thought we’d always have our husbands by our sides?

Early in my widow journey, when I felt fear, I would look at my young son, who seemed to have no fear whatsoever!

At eight, he asked me to take him to a local theme park to ride a roller coaster called The Intimidator. Never mind he was inches shy of the height requirement!

At the entrance of the roller coaster, someone measured him. But their measuring stick didn’t intimidate him. He would stand as tall as he could with every trick in the book—tall Healey roller shoes that added about an inch and two hats stacked tall on his head. The park officials sadly shook their heads and choked back laughs.

But he never gave up. He smiled and stepped away, undaunted and ready to approach the next biggest coaster in the park.

Of course he didn’t get on the big coasters that day, but his intrepidness inspired me.

“You’ll just have to eat your green vegetables,” I said. To which he responded by becoming a connoisseur of snap peas and carrots.

My son was simply a funny little guy, and while his brazenness and positivity is to be admired, we daughters of Christ have wisdom and the guidance of the Lord to boot!

When you’ve prayed about a decision and researched it, you can trust God to guide you.

A first bold decision I made after Tom died was to build a sun porch for the boys and me.

A friend questioned me on it. She criticized it among our circle of friends. It shook me up a bit, but I had to be clear in my heart that I had researched it and prayed about it.

When you’re widowed, it’s just you. You can’t hide behind a husband anymore. You have to become your own mover and shaker.

So I built the sun porch without anyone’s permission but God’s. And guess what? He blessed it with many years of enjoyment for the boys and me. We wired it with a flat panel TV to make it movie central for the neighborhood on summer nights. Later, it was the perfect weekly spot for youth group Bible studies. I consider it one of the best decisions I made in helping me raise the kids without Tom.

One good experience strengthens your confidence to make another God-filled decision!

Soon I was making career choices including starting this ministry and choosing the initial team of amazing writers, some of whom have taken the baton and continued the leadership into the future. What a blessing this has been for widows all over the world!

How about you? Are you ready to make the choices for your home and future? You can do it! Do not fear! God is with you!

Lord, Please guide me as I lean on You for direction. When I seek permission, let it be You and only You I seek it from. Help me to have the courage to act on Your guidance and not worry about the crowds, just as my son went after his goal without fear! I pray for every woman having to step into her role as head of household, that she turns to You in all things. Amen