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I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— I will not leave you all alone like orphans; I will come to you.”
John 14:16,18 NIV

This morning I woke up feeling tired and discouraged.

If you’re a mom with children at home, a caregiver to a parent like me, or any of the many other ways of serving others, you can probably relate to how I was feeling. The past several days have been tough ones in caring for my mom. She has constant back pain from arthritis and it seems none of the medicine I have for her will “remove” her discomfort. Throw in a strong dose of dementia that plagues her thoughts with confusion, and perhaps you’ll be able to understand the growing frustration I have in not being able to “fix” her health issues to the satisfaction of us both! These past few days and nights have been exhausting ones.

As I sat down with my usual morning cup of coffee and the day’s devotional in front of me, my overwhelming feelings of discouragement led me to put both of them down. I felt compelled to unload my burdening thoughts first to the Lord in prayer.

Before I even formed my first sentence, tears began falling down my face.

Instantly I realized what was really bothering me the most in all of this:

I miss my husband.

I’m tired and frustrated because I feel so alone without Brad beside me.

His encouragement and company are greatly missed.

I miss all his calm assurances that I’m doing a good job.

Soon my thoughts drifted to reminding God that He left me to do all of this work alone– without Brad’s help and love to get me through the tough stuff of caregiving. I once again asked Him, “Why?” I’ve long since understood, even if I did know God’s reason, it would not make me miss Brad less. It seemed to my heart this morning that God has decided I am to be alone– and I just need to accept it.

As I dried my eyes, I paused for a brief moment. It was just long enough to give God a quick opportunity to respond to my complaint. Just as quickly, I decided He had nothing to say and was choosing to remain quiet.

Feeling no better, I picked up my cup of coffee. After taking a sip, I began to read my first daily devotional for the day.

“…so I will be with you. I will not abandon you or leave you alone.”
Joshua 1:5b NET

I paused a little longer this time after reading this familiar Scripture as a smile crossed my face.

“Thank You, Lord, for reminding me that not for one moment have You ever left me alone! How foolish I am to forget Your faithfulness. All I ever need to do is call on Your name and You are with me! For every moment in every day and night, You keep Your promises and are always with me. When my strength is spent, You give me Yours for You are with me. When I feel all alone, You are faithful to never leave my side, for You are with me. You alone are all I’ll ever need.”

I soon realized God had more He desired for me to understand about His presence as I read the devotion that followed…

“True, our days can be filled with frustrations, and life at times is puzzling. But for the believer, lasting happiness is discovered when we center our lives on God. That worldview gives your morning alarm purpose. It changes your commute into communion as you ready yourself to glorify God in your work. Yes, work is our crowning achievement on earth — when you focus on God and not on yourself.” – Dr. David Jeremiah

When I stop looking at the “work” of caregiving (or any act of serving others) as it “affects me” and see that the work I do is actually a means to commune with God– I’m encouraged to know I may appear to others around me as being “alone”, but the truth is. God is always right here with me and beside me!

I’m also greatly blessed with the high honor to accomplish every task the Lord places before me to the glory of God!

When I sat down this morning, I felt defeated. However, when I rose up in response to my mom calling me a few minutes later, I rose up with the light of Truth encouraging me to press on!

What changed? Not my circumstances–but contentment was mine because I knew God loves me enough to give me a reminder when I need it.

Jesus is with me always and forever.

Not for a moment, will I ever be alone.

Thank You, Lord, for Your faithful love. Please help me to be continually aware of Your constant presence. May Your presence always remind me that I am never alone to face life’s challenges. When I feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities that I once shared with my husband and when I miss having him near, Jesus, remind me that I have all I’ll ever need in You. Lord, thank You for giving me the strength, wisdom and guidance I need to complete the race You’ve set before be! All for Your glory, Lord, may I live each day. In the precious name of Jesus I pray. Amen.