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“Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”
Psalm 30:4-5

Three-and-a-half years ago, my life was different – a nightmare, a living Hell. I would have never, ever, imagined being in the place we are now – filled with light, life, joy and hope. I thought it was impossible to find all of those things again after my Husband Michael made his way to Heaven by suicide.

But, God restored me. His love, grace and mercy took me from a place of darkness and utter despair to this place where I am today … I still have days that knock me to my knees with extreme sorrow, but they are only moments and I get through them, finding joy on the other side through Jesus.

I was recently talking to a friend who lost her husband to suicide a few months ago. We shared the guilt we feel, or have felt, when finding happiness and joy in life without them here, especially in the beginning. I remember a couple of weeks after Michael passed, I went to lunch with two of my best friends. I found myself genuinely laughing for one of the first times. In that moment, I had so many emotions: I felt guilty for even smiling when my husband was gone, but I also felt hope that the Lord would strengthen me and help me to one day find joy again.

Though guilt is a normal feeling, we should not feel this way. The Lord wants us to continue our lives, resting in his peace and comfort, and our husbands would too. I know Michael would never want me to sit in self-pity and sadness every day, especially while raising our son. In fact, the best way I know how to honor God and Michael is by stepping forward, sharing our story, Michael’s story, and then how God has been there, transforming our lives.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven … a time to be born and a time to die … a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance …”
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-4 (paraphrased)

When we isolate ourselves and don’t step forward (even if they’re baby steps!), we cannot see what God has planned for us or share our testimony of the work the Lord has done. And when we share how our lives have been changed because of Jesus, it can make a difference in someone else’s, resulting in lives changed, proving what we have been through is not in vain! The Lord wants us to be his hands and feet on this earth.

“He who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
2 Corinthians 1:4

Though all of our stories are different, Jesus, our Lord and Savior, NEVER changes, and he can get us through anything! Sisters, no matter what you face today, God is with you and has a plan and purpose for your life. You are still here for a reason! I pray you continue to live this life, finding joy, laughter and peace, until our gracious God calls you home.

Lord, please comfort us and give us peace in finding moments of joy and happiness on this earth. We know you are the only One who can bring ultimate joy. Continue to lead us and guide us to do your will. Amen.