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I will sing to the Lord as long as I live;
I will sing praise to my God while I have being.
Psalm 104:33 ESV

My sweet husband Keith died in November. He had been sick the better part of the year. I had already bought the boys’ Christmas outfits; they wore them for both the funeral and Christmas Eve. Both of us being planners, we had already determined what to get the kids for Christmas. I thank the Lord that He impressed this plan upon us early that year, as I am not sure how I would have accomplished the day without it.

But that is where the planning ended.

Because Keith was a reserved man, we always had a quiet Christmas at home. He preferred it that way. Christmas Eve was always spent at our church, often with one or both of us participating in the service. We would do a big meal, but it would just be for us and the boys. We would spend the day playing games, putting together toys, and having a nice afternoon nap.

That first year, we were invited by one of my best friends to share Christmas dinner with their family. It was nice to not have everything to worry about…and to be with others.

By the second Christmas, I had realized something about me and the boys: we needed big gatherings and loud laughter to celebrate the holidays.

Over the years, we have become the “hang-out house” at Christmas (actually, at all holidays). We often have twenty plus people for Christmas dinner. We have tons of food, laughter, and games. It is good to celebrate with others. As a family of extroverts, we enjoy it greatly.

The boys and I often talk about Dad and how he would have disliked our new Christmas tradition. He was always a gracious host, but he found crowds tiring, not exhilarating.

But I think Keith would approve of the way we do Christmas now. It makes us happy, and that was what he was all about.

This year, we plan to have two or three families over, but may collect some more if there are others who need family to be with. We will attend church Christmas Eve after our new tradition of Chinese food, and I will sing a song while my oldest accompanies me on the guitar.

And, if Keith can see from Heaven, I know he will be smiling.

Our family may have changed some of its traditions, but we continue to be the same sort of family we have always been…dedicated first and foremost to Christ, the centerpiece of our celebration.

Sisters, as you plan your Christmas celebrations without your spouses, I pray that you find the balance needed between keeping the traditions of the past and stepping out to meet the needs of your family now.

There is no wrong way to handle Christmas…as long as Christ is still the center of the celebration.

Heavenly Father, thank You for the incredible gift of Your Son. We can never fully recognize the power of that gift this side of Glory. Help us, Lord, to keep Your Son as the center of our celebration, whatever it looks like now that our husbands are gone. We seek to honor You in how we spend our holidays. Help us to do so. In Your Name, Amen.