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“But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.”
Matthew 15:18 ESV

“I didn’t like what he was saying, so I punched him!”

Uh huh, that’s how an eight-year-old responds to his twin brother when he’s aggravated.

My boys use words and actions to convey their messages to one another, and many times they are harsh and ugly. Their words are mean-spirited and vengeful. They want to treat the other the way they are being treated because they want to be right.

Vindicated.

Justified.

At eight, they sin and fall short constantly! It’s my job as their mom to guide them and teach them. But there are days this is daunting, because I sin and fall short everyday too. Sometimes I hear them coming, and I want to run and hide. As a solo parent, it’s constant, never ending. I have to parent these two boys into manhood all alone. Many days, that just seems insane and really not possible.

But, when I am not hiding or questioning how I can possibly do this, I do try to grow them and equip them as we encounter each conflict. Mostly though I just point them to Jesus!

I do have two key family mottos to accomplish this:

1. Our words and actions reflect our heart.
2. Treat others the way we want to be treated.

These are the mottos we apply daily to our interactions and conflicts. (Obviously, it’s a work in progress!)

I honestly find myself growing because of our mottos too. Yes, there are times I do just want to punch someone. Obviously, as an adult and a Christian, I don’t. I don’t physically act out. But my mind certainly sees me whopping the person who’s wronged me.

Yet, God’s word is clear- our words (and actions) reveal our hearts. In the verse above, the reference to our heart, is representative of so much more. It’s our mind, our spirit, our will and our whole inner being–all of which make us who we are. Those things then affect our brain and responses, which in turn become our actions.

In Proverbs 4:23 we are told, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” From our heart flows how we will deal with others when they’ve aggravated, annoyed, or wronged us. If we guard our heart, filling it with God’s love and His word, what flows out will glorify Him.

When it doesn’t, as in the case of small children, we can also find shelter in His grace and forgiveness. On my “go and hide” or my “I am not qualified” days I am grateful for this grace. When in my mind I do want to “bop” someone, I can go to Jesus and lay it at the foot of the Cross, where forgiveness abounds.

Today, I challenge you- apply our family mottos and these significant scripture verses to your tough situation, to your attitude, to your life, and even to your parenting. Then watch how God is revealed! And see how others react. It’s so fun to watch someone “change” as you love them and act well, in spite of the ugly in life. And when you do fall short, go to the Cross, for there you’ll find the grace for today and the strength to try again tomorrow.