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For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
Isaiah 55:8 ESV

Being a widow was not on my list of things to do in this life.

Raising our children together into respectful, responsible adults who make an impact for Christ…yep, that was on my list.

Growing old with my husband by my side, experiencing retirement, traveling more, and loving on grandchildren…uh huh, check, that was on my list.

Being the cute elderly couple at the restaurant on a Saturday morning, holding hands and helping each other walk…was totally on my list!

Parenting two young teenagers’ solo, being forty-two without a husband, experiencing this life alone…all not on the list.

Guess what? These are all items God knew would impact my life; every single one of them were on His list. Want to know what else He knew that had never entered my mind? He knew I would need other women who have walked this road to come along side of me as encouragement, educators, and prayer warriors. He knew I needed a ministry that would be used by Him to heal my broken heart and the brokenness of so many other women caught in the grief cycle by the loss of their husbands.

If you can’t tell, I like lists. More than that, I really like to know what is on MY list. God doesn’t always work that way. He doesn’t necessarily let me know exactly what is coming up next in my life. I am learning that this is okay.

My trust is deepening because of Who He has proven Himself to be to me.

He is faithful, even when we face uncertainty. Oh how He has ingrained this truth in my soul. His ways are better even when I doubt or fail to understand them. I can trust in His Word which tells me that His thoughts will not be my thoughts and my ways will not be His ways. That is where faith comes in to play.

I believe that He has THIS…

this raising of children who honor Him in my home.

this ability to do life without my husband’s physical presence.

this stretching me more into His likeness.

It’s all on His list and under His control.

There is nothing better than having others on this road who truly know the depth of our pain; who grasp the daily struggle of sorting out our various new roles in this life without our husbands.

Lord God, we hand you our lists of what we expected in life. Thank You for stretching us and growing us into Your image. We miss our beloved husbands, but are so thankful for our widow sisters who walk with us and encourage us in the faith. Amen