“Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.”
Matthew 10:31 (AMP)

I remember the first time I went to dinner with friends and their spouses without Ryan.

We were planning a trip for Spring Break for all four of our families, including the kids. It was going to involve a long drive of at least 18 hours through mountains and unfamiliar territory.

It didn’t even hit me how awkward the dinner was until I realized that the men were planning the route we would take and how many hours we would drive each day.

That is usually something Ryan would have handled. I realized that I needed to be paying attention to this conversation! I was profoundly sad in that moment and felt very left out and alone. It seemed that the empty chair beside me was visible to everyone.

Of course, my friends were not excluding me on purpose.

They love me. It was a situation I had not even considered, and I’m sure they hadn’t either.

I know I am not the only one to experience something like this.

Widows lose a significant part of their social circle when their husband dies.

I don’t believe it is intentional. No one is purposefully trying to exclude you from social gatherings. However, some friends may not invite you to things because let’s be honest, people don’t always know what to do with your grief. They don’t know how to address the empty chair at the table any more than you do.

I hope you are blessed like me with one or two friends who continue to invite you to things even if you decline.

I know other widows who also lost relationships with family members after their husbands died. These secondary losses can create even deeper levels of grief and isolation.

Especially in those first two years, I felt like “Widow” was a label I now wore for all the world to see.

It was part of my identity that was hard to explain and difficult to expose to other people.

Part of the loss of my social circle was my own doing.

My inner circle became very small, consisting of family and friends who already knew me intimately. They didn’t mind when I talked about Ryan, or if I was sad, it was ok.

But acquaintances or friends I didn’t see very often would ask questions like, “How are you really doing?” or, “How are the kids doing?” They were just trying to be nice, but those questions made the label even heavier. I learned to answer, “as well as can be expected,” and then quickly ask them a question to change the subject.

Under these circumstances, it is easy to understand why widows often report feeling isolated, alone, or worthless.

However, God is not done with me. And He is not done with you either, Sister.

He sees you.

In Matthew, Jesus teaches the disciples about their worth.

When people came to the temple, they would often purchase their animals for sacrifice upon arrival. Sparrows were the smallest animal someone could buy, and they cost less than a penny. They were considered almost worthless.

Yet Jesus reminded the disciples that not one sparrow falls to the ground outside of His Father’s will.

He tells them:

“Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.”
Matthew 10:31 (AMP)

In other words, God Himself oversees and cares for every detail of the sparrow’s life. And you are certainly worth much more than a tiny sparrow.

How much more will He oversee and care for you?

Since my husband’s death, my social circle has increased in ways I never imagined.

I joined a Bible study and met other women who are now dear friends of mine. My business has expanded to include other people. Also, God introduced me to A Widow’s Might.

I remember walking into my first AWM conference and realizing that these women already knew me. Worshipping with these other widows, I was overwhelmed by the feeling of God covering us with His hands.

He was saying, “These are Mine. And they are precious.”

You are not worthless, but priceless.

There is no price God wouldn’t pay to surround you with His love.

In fact, the price was His only son’s life. God sent Jesus to die for your sins so He could have a relationship with you and love you like no one else.

That’s how valuable you are.

Dear Lord, thank You for the gift of Your Son, so that I may be in a relationship with You. Please help me to remember that I am precious to You and that You see me, know me, and love me. Help me to be brave on this walk of widowhood and confident in your care for me.

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