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Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
Psalm 23:4 ESV

I lost an earring.

A special earring.

This earring was one from the pair my husband had given me on what turned out to be our last Christmas together.

I loved those earrings.

Even before John’s death, these earrings were special. It was one of the few times my husband bought me jewelry. They weren’t fancy or expensive but they were exactly my style. It was obvious that he had put thought and effort into picking them out, and it meant so much. After he died, they became even more precious since they were a visible reminder of John’s love. I was able to wear the earrings even when I felt it was time to take off my wedding rings. I wore them every day, and it felt like I had a little piece of John with me each time I did.

I actually lost one of these earrings before. Just a few months after John died, I looked in the mirror and realized I only had one earring. I panicked. I started crying and almost hyper-ventilated. My poor children were very freaked out. I felt like a terrible person for being so careless. How could I lose something so precious?

Losing that earring brought much of my grief right up to the surface and it hurt.

Then a miracle happened. A few hours after I realized the earring was lost, my youngest son found it just lying on the kitchen floor. I had looked everywhere for that earring! I was confused how he had managed to find it somewhere I had searched but, more than anything, I was happy it was found. My grief was still so fresh, and I needed that physical connection the earrings gave me.

Over the last few years I continued to wear the earrings but had lost the need and desire to wear them every day. I’d wear them when I was particularly missing John, or when I was lonely and needed a reminder I was once loved, or when I just wanted to feel a connection with him again. Some people visit the grave of their husband…I wore the earrings.

Now I’ve lost one of them again.

And I’m pretty sure it’s gone for good this time. No second miracle.

But you know what? It’s okay. Oh, I am sad to have lost it and I miss wearing them. I’m disappointed I won’t be able to pass them on to my daughter someday. But I don’t feel the deep sense of loss that I did the first time it was lost.

That’s when I realized I had truly made it to the other side of the dark valley of grief.

I will always miss John and, if I had my way, he would still be here with me and the kids. This journey has been long and the hardest thing I have ever done. But, I’ve walked it with God at my side, leading me and carrying me. Psalm 23:4 says “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;” Did you catch it? We walk THROUGH the valley of death. We don’t stay there. The heavy burden of grief does end.

God comforts us while we are in it and He gently leads us to the other side.

Friends, I know many of you are still in the valley and are hurting deeply. Please hear me when I tell you it won’t always be this dark. Cling to God and allow Him to lead you through the valley. I promise you the view on the other side is amazing!

Father, I pray for my sisters in Christ who are still in the valley of the shadow of death. I ask that they be able to feel Your presence with them. Walk with them, carry them, and lead them to the other side, Lord. I praise You that they don’t have to stay in the valley. Thank You in advance for the time to come when they are out of the darkness. Amen