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But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33 (ESV)

What does it mean to seek first the kingdom of God? What things will be added?

This verse became more clear to me during some decisions I had to make during widowhood.

The day before widowhood began, a relative mentioned in passing that I would probably need to sell our house because my husband and provider was nearing death. Yes, it seemed incredibly insensitive but almost anything said during those last moments of his life seemed insensitive. But I had no peace about selling it and uprooting my six children at that time. Plus, how many times have we heard not to make any big decisions the first year?

Sometime during the second year of my widow journey, one of my widow friends (who is several years ahead of me on this journey) tried to convince me that it might be time to consider downsizing. Those are such difficult conversations. They are the “truth in love” conversations that take humility and grace from both parties.

Several years went by as we continued living in the house. One of my teens had headed off to college. Another one was entering his senior year of high school. Times were changing in our home. But amidst the changes, I’d lie in bed at night, wondering how long the life insurance would last, allowing me to make the house payments. I mentally started calculating and came up with a date when the account would be empty. Fear set in and I began to sweat profusely. What did God want me to do?

I was finally ready to seek God first in this situation.

Not knowing where to even start the process, I hopped on my social media feed. Scrolling through all the nonsense, I landed on a random house for sale that caught my eye. Texting my realtor friend, I asked if we could look at the house. She and I talked about my price range, size, and school district. And I jumped in with both feet.

That began the fast track of decluttering my home – with the help of lots of friends and all my kids. In five days, we put our house on the market. I was fully expecting God to bring buyers quickly, and we would be moved by Christmas. Since I obeyed God, surely He would come through quickly, right?

Well, nine months went by. No buyers. Not even an offer.

Doubts began to swirl in my head. Did God really tell me to sell? Did I truly believe God wanted me to uproot these children to move to a home about half the size? What was I thinking? What if it wasn’t God telling me to sell? Was I seeking God first or my own comforts?

I was beginning to feel similar to the widow in one of Elijah’s encounters. This story is found in 1 Kings 17.

Elijah asked the widow to make him a small cake of bread,

“I only have one drop of oil left,” the widow spoke to Elijah in desperation. She had her son to feed and nothing left to live on. Did God want to ‘take away’ her last drop of oil? But maybe that isn’t the right perspective.

Maybe instead of “taking away”…He wanted to multiply her gift.

But she had to let go of it first.

I had to let go of some things from married life. My home was only one of many things. So. Much. Stuff. Can you relate? God has been saying to me to let it go. He keeps telling me He isn’t taking away my house, but is multiplying something far better.

Maybe I won’t even know what the gift He is multiplying until I let go of what I am holding on to so tightly.

What is God asking you to let go of?

How are you seeking Him?

Stop right now and talk to Him about these questions. You never know where He will multiply your gifts.

Lord God, Help us to LET GO of whatever we are holding too tightly. Instead of thinking of it as letting go, help us to see it as giving to You to multiply in our lives. Thank You for loving us and caring for us. Amen