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By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
1 John 3:16 (ESV)

With Memorial Day slightly in our rearview mirror, I continued having the thought of sacrifice on my heart.

How has God called ME to lay down my life for others?

I was widowed on the last day of 2012 when my husband Mark passed away from complications from pneumonia. There seemed to be a lot of laying down my life during those early years of widowhood. Six children with a hundred different needs. I gave everything for them. I wondered if there would ever be a light at the end of the tunnel. But as the children began to physically need me less, the idea of dating began to grow.

The Lord clearly brought a widower into my life with two children still in the home. How hard could it be, I wondered aloud. I had launched several into adulthood where they were doing well. These young teens of his would be thrilled to have me in their lives!

Nothing prepares you for the sacrifice of blending a family. No amount of reading or listening – but only living it first hand.

My remaining three children and I welcomed these new faces into our home. I think it may have crossed my mind a time or two, that this would be like raising two more of my own biological children. But from the first moments of blending, I knew that would not be the case. These two teens were adopted at birth to my current husband and his late wife. They sacrificed their own lives over and over for around fifty foster children during their thirty year marriage. Every one of those fifty children came with their own DNA and their own set of difficulties to overcome. Mickey and his wife Melissa held these babies, cried with the teens, and taught the youngsters so much over the years. And now it was my turn, my God-given turn, to pick up where they left off with the two they adopted.

To say it has been hard is an understatement – for all of us! I was nothing like their adopted mother so it was hard to live with me. And these teens had some difficulties from birth and from DNA that made education and relationships challenging. Nothing in my biological parenting prepared me for this level of sacrifice.

Nothing except the Lord Jesus Christ.

I may never be called to physically lay my life down for someone but there have been numerous times I have had to set my life aside for blending a family. Marriage, in Scripture, is often spoken of as a symbol of Christ and the Church. He gives us the best example of laying down our lives for others. And that is a continual reminder to me (and to all of us in this blended family) to lay our own lives down for the sake of others. My three children in the home when we married had to sacrifice the privacy of their own rooms. Finally they each had a room of their own. Ever so briefly! His two had never been raised in a large family – let’s face it, we do things differently in a big family! My husband had never lived in the city. He sacrificed his open space with neighbors just over the back fence, as they moved into my home.

But beyond the sacrifices, there have been moments when God has popped through the rain clouds to remind me of how beautiful it is. To have a second chance at the love of a Christian husband who strives every day to love me as Christ loves the Church is such a blessing I never expected. And to have a father figure praying for and loving my imperfect children has been another blessing I never expected. Laying down our lives is sometimes different from the sacrifice of the military and is more walking in faith as Christ leads.

Lord Jesus, thank You for Your example of sacrifice for us to follow in our own lives. Whether we lay down our physical bodies or our figurative bodies, we know You are the best example. Give is boldness and humility when needed and the clarity to know the difference. Amen