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Since the sudden loss of my husband two years ago, I’ve found my life has a different landscape.
What I expected my life to look like at this stage (with my husband at my side) compared to what it actually looks like could not have been imagined. After the first year, I reflected on my journey and discovered amidst the tears and sorrow there was a re-purposing of my life. The words of Isaiah 42:16 (CSB) gave a description of where I found myself; “I will lead the blind by a way they did not know. I will guide them on paths they have not known. I will turn darkness to light in front of them and rough places into level ground. This is what I will do for them, and I will not abandon them.”
Before we had IPhones and GPS devices, I used an old fashioned paper map.
In cleaning out my husband’s things a few months after he died, I found an entire drawer full of maps. He even had a Thomas Bros. map for our entire county. All those maps showed the way to get to a destination. They showed the turns, exits, and sights to see along the way.
In the journey I find myself on, God’s Word has become the GPS for navigating my life after loss.
My first weeks and months I began reading the Psalms. It was my oxygen tank. I could breathe again. There were words in David’s laments that gave voice to my pain. In Psalm 56:8 (CSB), David wrote, “You yourself have recorded my wanderings. Put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?” I felt relief and comfort knowing all my tears were being collected and recorded. God sees us, records our tears, and accompanies us on our grief journey. The promises of God give us hope and validation as we trust Him for everything we need.
There’s a deepening of dependency as we trust God for everything.
I’ve found God’s faithfulness to help me do things I never thought I could do. Almost daily, I discover I’m saying, “Okay, Lord, You have to help me with this.” A few weeks ago, I figured out how to use the electric hedge trimmer to cut the branches of a tree in my backyard. Carefully and prayerfully, I found the extension cord and proceeded to slowly trim the branches. It was an example of finding God so faithful to show up in a seemingly simple task.
Another Scripture I have found so encouraging is in Psalm 68:5 (CSB), “God in his holy dwelling is the father of the fatherless and a champion of widows.” I love this description of who God is. God is defending, protecting, providing, and standing faithfully with us, never leaving or forsaking us.
As we take a different path than we expected, we can trust God who is our Champion.
Lord, thank You that You are with us, never leaving or forsaking us as we journey on a different path. Thank You for being our Champion, protecting and defending us. Guide us by Your Word, as we trust You and depend on You each day. We pray in Jesus’ Name, Amen.