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But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.
Luke 5:16 (NIV)

I sat on the plane and knew it was time for me to begin journaling. I had instructed others to journal so I needed to follow my own advice.

The following is an excerpt from my entry:

Father,

I look to You. You are where my help comes from; Your Word says so. You are the keeper of the pen that narrates, designs, and illustrates the scenes of my life. YOU SCRIBE MY STORY.

What do You want me to share? What do You want me to reflect upon?

What is it that You long to say to us?

God is not dead.

God is not gone.

God is not silent.

GOD SPEAKS…

But, do we listen?

Listening….. for widows, it is HARD!

There is SO MUCH for us to attend to and manage.

SO MUCH to be done.

SO MUCH to be thought out and gone through.

LISTEN?

How can we hear when the noise is SO LOUD?

How can we hear when the SILENCE is deafening?

How can we hear You Lord?

“Be still and know that I am God”

That’s it. It’s where I landed, on Psalm 46:10. God’s reminder that He is “in it” with us.

So, let’s break this verse down.

“Be still”

How good are widows at being still? Are we good at it, or are we uncomfortable with it? Unless stillness leads to sleep, which is desperately sought after but often elusive for us, perhaps we are not good at it. To “be still” means we pause our responsibilities and stop our dialogue (in ALL ways, be they in person or electronically). It means we put aside distractions-whatever they may be for us, then we sit before the Lord and soak up His goodness. In stillness, we pray, study, journal, meditate on His Word and hide it in our hearts. In stillness, we REST in Him.

“and know”

This could read, “and KNOW.” KNOWING is radically different from thinking, feeling, or wanting. Thinking is using our brains and reasoning skills, but knowing is fully trusting. Knowing is different from feeling, which is based on our emotions. Our emotions will often play tricks on us; thus, they are unstable. Wanting is rooted in our desires, but knowing is not dependent upon how I feel or what I want.

KNOWING is unshakable.

We KNOW the sun is HOT. We’ve seen proof, like burned skin if someone is out in it too long. We’ve felt proof when we walk outside on a sunny day. We’ve measured it scientifically. Our sun is hot. The data proves it. If we KNOW this about the sun, and we know who put it into orbit, why is it that we struggle with God? Sometimes, we struggle to KNOW that God is who He says He is, and that He loves us beyond our wildest imaginations, and wants the very best for us.

Did death triumph over Him? Did we lose trust in Him? Do we fear what will happen next?

Do we struggle to KNOW, with every part of our beings, that God is real, He has a plan for us, He treasures us, and He has not forgotten or forsaken us? If we are honest, maybe we do.

“that I am God”

GOD creator of the universe, God lover of mankind, God partner to those who fail daily, God maker of the stars, God Father of Abraham and Isaac, Esther, and Mary Magdalene God…THE GOD!

The “I am BIGGER than finances, I am BIGGER than marriage, I am BIGGER than widowhood, I am BIGGER than anger, I am BIGGER than depression, I am BIGGER than grief, I am BIGGER than DEATH, I am BIGGER than the forces of evil and darkness, GOD!”

Be STILL sisters, and KNOW that He IS GOD!

Lord, help us to KNOW that You will love us through the valley of the shadow of death. In Jesus’ name, we pray, AMEN!