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“In my hands, you, O nation of Israel, are just like the clay in this potter’s hand.”
Jeremiah 18:6

This is Your plan, Lord?

If someone had told me 10 years ago what my life would look like now, I would have thought they were insane. Ten years ago, our family was following a pretty traditional path – two young kids, two parents with full-time jobs, all busy with activities, Dad in charge of the garage, Mom in charge of the kids.

Five years ago, our lives took a very drastic turn. My husband passed away unexpectedly from an aortic dissection caused by a genetic condition that my son now manages. We categorize life into before and after. I catch myself looking at pictures and thinking of them as before or after. This kid had a dad. This one didn’t.

I will never understand why God allowed this to happen to our family. I have quoted Jeremiah 29:11 to my children for years. I reminded them that God has plans for them – to prosper them and give them hope and a future.

How could this sharp turn in our lives onto an unknown and difficult path be God’s best plan for my children and our family? Where were His plans to give us hope and a future? How could I explain that verse to them now?

While studying the book of Jeremiah, God led me to a story that didn’t give me all the answers, but it did give me a different perspective. It was a difficult lesson to swallow, but truth is sometimes hard. However, God did not leave me without comfort, either.

That’s Not the End

Jeremiah, often called the “Weeping Prophet,” faithfully delivered God’s message to the rebellious nation of Judah, even though they refused to listen. One day, God sent him to the potter’s house to teach His people an unforgettable lesson:

“So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

Then the Lord said to me, ‘I, the Lord, say: ‘O nation of Israel, can I not deal with you as this potter deals with the clay? In my hands, you, O nation of Israel, are just like the clay in this potter’s hand.’”
Jeremiah 18:3-6 (NIV)

God was showing me that He is shaping me into the vessel He wants me to become. The potter is in control, not the clay.

I imagined God as the potter, carefully holding me in His hands, applying gentle pressure here and there to create the shape He wanted me to be. And then I imagined Him smashing the lump of clay back into a pile of sludge and starting over. That’s exactly what I felt like – that God had smashed me into a formless lump of dirt that had no purpose anymore. It was so painful, I sobbed.

The Holy Spirit whispered, “What else? That’s not the end.”

The potter didn’t throw the clay away or leave it to dry out because of a defect. Instead, he continued shaping it into the vessel he had envisioned.

Additionally, the potter’s hands were covered with clay. He couldn’t shape the vessel from a distance. His hands never left it.

Still in the Potter’s Hands

From these few verses, we don’t know what the potter saw that caused him to reform the clay. Just like I will never know why God allowed my husband to pass. And that was the hardest part of this story for me. I believed in God’s Sovereignty over all things, but that also includes my life, – as well as my children’s lives. As my creator, it is His right to shape my life into what He sees fit. He allows pressure to enter our lives because He cares deeply about our final shape.

However, He is intimately involved, and He sits right next to us, in control of the wheel. His hands gently hold our fragile form, with a picture in His mind of a vessel so beautiful, with so much purpose, that we cannot possibly comprehend His plans. And that is the shape I want to be. His purpose for my life will be meaningful and fill me with more joy than I can imagine.

Five years after Ryan’s death, I can see a shape emerging from my pile of clay. God has given me a new purpose. He has blessed me in so many ways and given me opportunities to do things I never imagined.

I am only one parent. And I am in charge of the garage. But I have my own power tools, and I know how to use them. I built my kitchen table recently – something I would never have thought possible ten years ago.

God is with me every day, shaping me into a vessel that holds His ways, His joy, His Spirit, and His plans. It is hard, but I know He loves me, and I trust Him.

If you feel like a formless pile of sludge right now, remember, the Potter is not done shaping the clay.

Dear Heavenly Father, remind me that even though You allow difficulties to enter my life, You are still with me. Your hands never leave me. Help me see myself through Your eyes and remember that Your plans for me are so much bigger than my own. Amen.