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But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.
Joshua 24:15 (NIV)

THE UGLY TRUTH: I HATE BEING ALONE.

Sometimes, it’s hard to be grateful and trust God for healing, while sitting alone.

Thankful is so much more than a word. It’s even more than an attitude, it is a choice. I’m trying to live out loud, with a grateful heart, and be more thankful this year. In order to do that, there are some days when I have to choose a grateful heart, choose thankfulness.

Thankful is defined as pleased and relieved.

If we are honest, during widowhood, sometimes it is hard to be pleased or relieved. It is hard when half of you is missing, when your heart is BROKEN, when your dreams are shattered, when daily life is a burden, when breathing and getting dressed are more effort than they have ever been before.

During those times, pleased and relieved are hard postures to come by and may require more energy or strength than we have.

Pleased is defined as feeling or showing satisfaction with an event or situation.

I’m sure I have never heard a widow say this, of losing her husband. Even the worst spouses in the most dysfunctional marriages are missed. In better or worse, we all miss companionship, identity as a wife, and a million other things.

Relieved is defined as no longer feeling distressed or anxious.

WELL NOW, THAT’S A LIE for all of us on this path. Distressed is how we live for months, at least, and anxiousness goes with the uncertainty of the territory for almost all of us, at some point.

We want to be thankful or become thankful, but it takes a heart willing to say, “Lord, even when I don’t get it, You are good. Even when I don’t like it, You are good. Even when I feel unloved, forgotten, or lost, You are good. Even when all else is gone and I am left with nothing, You are still good Lord, and I choose You.”

It takes knowing that we choose to pick God, even when it doesn’t make sense to the world, and others laugh at us. We choose to say, “God, You are good and Your mercies endure FOREVER.” Lord, we choose YOU. Though we may stand alone, “WE PICK YOU, GOD!”

Thankful is a way of life that keeps Christ at the center.

It comes from a grateful heart full of His joy, no matter our circumstances. It takes a heart void of any allusion or lies that God wants less than the best for us. He is for us, not against us. God is good, even when….even if…

“Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.”
Job 13:15a (NIV)

Father, Rain down new mercies each day and help us to focus on You. We choose You, Lord, the God who sees, the God who loves, the God who carries, the God who knows, the God who supplies our needs, the God who lives. In Jesus’ name, Amen.