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How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
Psalm 13:1-2a (NIV)

Have you felt like David? Are you wondering if God has forgotten you?

Does it sometimes feel like he’s abandoned you, left you to wrestle with the grief and sorrow alone?

What I love about Psalm 13 is that David’s question is not a sign of a lack of faith. It is actually an expression of a relationship. He is bringing his pain to the One he knows can handle it.

You are not the only one to ever ask those questions.

When my husband, Vic, died in 2016, I could never have imagined the depth of my grief. Reading the Psalms always gave me great comfort. As I read each one, the Lord showed me that I was not alone in how I felt. My sorrow was not a sin. My questions were not a rebellion. My tears were not a lack of faith. They were the honest cries of a hurting heart, bringing everything to God. It was in the Psalms that I learned that I wasn’t the only one who questioned God, his plan, and his oversight of my life.

When death knocked on our door and took the one we loved with all of our heart, the life we knew was forever changed. The person who shared our dreams, our routines, our joys, and our burdens is no longer beside us. There is an emptiness that only those who have walked this road understand, and we long for the light of God’s presence to shine into the darkness.

Like the Psalmist David, I asked, “How long, O Lord?” because I desperately wanted the pain to end. As I wept in my bed many nights, it felt like there was no end in sight.

“But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me.”
Psalm 13:5-6 (NIV)

Lessons from the Psalms

While the psalms taught me that I was not alone in my grief and that it was okay to question God, they also taught me to remember God’s goodness.

God had been so faithful to me in the past that my despair never caused me to question whether God was for me or against me.

Bring the focus back to where it belongs.

Throughout the Psalms, many cry out to God in pain and anguish, but the psalmists always bring their focus and praise back to the Lord. They have experienced Him and know that He is a god they can trust.

It sounds simple, doesn’t it? Just trust Him. If we have walked with God for any length of time, it should be that simple, right? But when your world is shattered, and you desperately need an explanation for why your world has just been torn apart, maybe shredded to pieces, trust is not always easy.

But trust does not mean we understand everything God allows. Trust means we choose to believe that God’s character remains good when our circumstances are not.

So what do we do when we are struggling to trust God?

Exercise Trust

• Pray even when you don’t feel like praying.
• Open His Word even when you don’t feel like reading.
• Worship even when your heart is heavy.
• Stay connected even when you want to withdraw.

Express Truth

• Rehearse God’s promises until they begin to quiet the noise of grief.
• Recognize the enemy’s lies for what they are and anchor yourself in the truth of God’s character.
• Remember what God has already carried you through, because past faithfulness strengthens present trust.

The journey of grief is not about pretending everything is okay. It is about learning, day by day, to place our hurting hearts into the hands of the One who has always been faithful.

The God who carried us before our loss is the same God who carries us now. And even in the waiting, even in the sorrow, even when we cannot see what He is doing… we can trust who He is.

O Lord, when we wonder how long, wrap your arms around us and remind us that we are not alone. The path is so dark at times, but may your presence be the light for our path. Forgive us when we walk in our own strength and help us to put our full trust in you. May we remember to give you all the praise and worship that is rightfully yours!