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Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? …

…neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35, 38-39

It took five Christmases for me to decide to travel for the Holiday.

Many make that choice in the first year after losing a loved one. Christmas can be a troubling time to be at home where memories linger in every nook and cranny, accentuated by the carols in the air or the smell of pine or the extra stocking that won’t be filled.

But staying around home allows you the time to process loss related to memories of Christmas morning.

Over the years I managed my Christmases without Tom with good tips from friends and family, some of which I listed below.

1. Know Truth—The Lord meets us at our loneliest moments. Paul describes this in Romans chapter 8.: For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. It’s in those moments that you feel more alone that He is there—closer than He’s ever been.
2. Be realistic with expectations. There is nothing wrong with spending a holiday without people around. The ache of loneliness is bearable. Movies give the impression everyone is in love, has parties to go to, and gifts to shop for. Remember. A few loving calls from friends or family can be more uplifting than getting lost in a crowd. Even those “quirky” family members, in their own odd ways, tell you they love you.
3. Turn to a church community—Churches prepare for people just like you who are lonely on the holidays. Choirs will make you cry and feel basked in Christ’s love all at once. But Christmas services aren’t just formal candlelit deals anymore. Churches with only 100 members meeting in a gym can be incredibly welcoming. Let them know why you’re lonely this season of your life.
4. Connect to people—Reach out to those who will support you. A Widow’s Might is perfect for this. Remember you aren’t alone. Many, just like you, want someone to share their day with them.
5. Help others—The enemy loves to get you thinking it’s all about you. Reach out to others. One Christmas when I was unable to see family, someone suggested I serve at a soup kitchen. That Christmas became one of my fondest memories rather than what could have been one of my loneliest moments.
6. Treat yourself—Consider an at home spa treatment. Immerse yourself in an uplifting novel. Take your dog on a rigorous hike. Maybe even take in a marathon of blockbuster movies at the local theater on Christmas Day.

Getting away for the holiday can be refreshing, but learning to climb that mountain of holiday grief can make you no longer afraid of it. Let’s pray for strength in the coming weeks.

Dear Lord and Father of our precious Savior, Jesus Christ,

Help these sisters who have lost their loved ones feel Your saving Love on this special holiday, regardless of whether she stays at home or travels. Help her transcend feelings of being overwhelmed and feel her real home for the holidays with You. Amen.