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“…his days are determined,
and the number of his months is with you…”
Job 14:5 (ESV)

The way we perceive our lifespan and the way God does aren’t the same.

God has mapped out our lives and numbered our days. Because we don’t know how long we have we must make each day count and live with purpose—God’s purpose.

As I thought on this verse, I realized its truth, yet still struggled with the reality: He’s not here. “Ronald passed away too soon,” I thought. At 58 years old, there was so much left undone. The cancer took him away before he saw the fruit of his efforts. The voluminous apologetic articles and books he wrote were never published, which compounded the grief I was already experiencing.

But God.

As always, but God. Amidst my “pity party,” as I called it, God gently reminded me that Ronald went home when he was supposed to, his length of life determined by Him. I didn’t get to make that determination. Ronald finished the work God gave him. As for the unfinished things, God would turn them into something new, His purpose for me to fulfill. “And when you’re done with your purpose,” as Ronald used to say, “you don’t want to be around here anyway.”

I thought about those words. Yes, Ronald finished his purpose on earth, and he was with the Lord. It didn’t mean I missed him any less. I found myself praying, “Now what? What is on the agenda for now? What now, God?”

“Be in the present,” He said. “I am taking care of you. My love and grace will sustain you.”

God was teaching me about trust, trusting Him for the provision of today and leaving the care of the future to Him. Day by day a walk of faith, whether it was knowing which bill to pay when, (or if I had it to pay it), care repair, or when I had no energy to do the simplest task and having a meltdown in the process, wondering if I was going nuts. (Often I felt a candidate for the insane asylum.) It’s one step here then another there then waiting to see where He’ll lead next. Only the waiting part was hard. It’s hard for all of us. Being human, we only see so far.

But God sees the total picture.

Good thing He does. As far as God was concerned, I was right where I should be. And you are too. There is no timeframe. God is very tender and patient and comforts us with His strength.

Thank You, Father, that you love us so much. In your compassionate wisdom you surround and uphold us, teaching us to trust. Your plans are still to prosper. You haven’t forgotten us. Even in the valley you are faithful and will work all for our good and your glory. Help us in our waiting as you heal our hearts. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.