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This is part of her grief journey and how an AWM conference helped her. If you want more information about our conferences, you can click here.

It took God’s healing love to bring me through the storm of grief I experienced after my sweet husband went home to be with the Lord. Mark 4:35-41 tells the story of Jesus calming the storm at sea when His disciples came to Him for help. They didn’t come in perfect faith. In fact, they came in fear.

Jesus met them where they were, understanding their need for peace and calm.

He said to the stormy sea, “Peace, be still.”

In the throes of early grief I had that same question, “God, do you not care that my heart is broken?” Did He not care that my peaceful, love-filled life had been turned upside down? How could this be happening to me?

As I walked day by day through my grief, He sent His healing love to me in many different ways. Twice I awoke in the middle of the night to a sermon speaking directly to my circumstance coming through YouTube on my phone. I remember saying to the speaker, “How’d you get on my phone?” My phone was just lying beside me and I never get on YouTube.

I felt God’s healing love through the notes, texts, and cards of encouragement sent by friends and family over the weeks and months. It came through the telephone calls from old friends hundreds of miles away that came when I was in the depths of loneliness.

God also gave me a hearty dose of His healing love in the Grief Share group I was a part of for thirteen weeks. I remember desperately needing to be around someone who was going through what I was experiencing. My couple friends were great and supportive, but I had a strong desire burning inside of me to relate to others who knew exactly what I was feeling.

A supportive hospice counselor was another manifestation of God’s healing love during this time. This contact had been orchestrated by an old friend who had walked the path before me with the loss of a spouse. My counselor listened, reassured me that what I was feeling was “normal” for my circumstance, and assured me that I wasn’t losing my mind.

Early on I researched and found daily devotional emails from Grief Share and A Widow’s Might that sustained me each morning. It always amazed me how fitting and timely each devotional seemed to be for that particular day’s journey.

God waited patiently for me to return to my closeness with Him. He knew I needed time to process my hurt. I was never mad at Him, just hurt that my loving husband was no longer with me and I now had to face life alone.

I knew I had to go about the work of creating a new life for myself, but it was hard because I liked my old life just fine.

After attending the AWM conference, I realized that I had been unable to worship God. Pray, yes, but not truly worship. That changed on the second night of the conference. I also brought home with me the experience of knowing I’m not alone. I knew it in my head, but now I experienced it in my heart. On solitary evenings I could now remind myself that “I’m not alone” and believe it.

My journey through grief was a storm.

I became symptomatic on more than one occasion with stress-related issues. Being a mental health professional for nearly three decades didn’t work any wonders for me. I couldn’t find peace in my own strength, I needed God’s peace.

He came through for me. He met me where I was. And, when I asked, He brought me peace. I finally realized that I just needed to settle down and accept that things are the way they are. This was my new life and it would be ok. I had to start walking in the present with my God who can do anything.

Now I can look back and clearly see all the amazing gifts of love God showered on me during my time of grief. For this, I will always be grateful.

If you are struggling with your own stormy sea of grief, don’t wait until your faith is perfect. Run to Christ. He will shower you with His healing love. God will meet you where you are, calm your storm, and give you His peace.

Heavenly Father, I pray we will allow Your healing love to flow through us. I ask that we look to Jesus to find the peace we are seeking, letting Him calm the storm of emotions that seem to overwhelm us. These things I pray in Jesus’s name, Amen.