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I said my goodbyes and hopped in the car. Staring out the window, bitterness began to boil.

“Why do we have to work around other people’s plans?” I thought. “Why do I feel like I’m continually facing consequences of decisions others make?”

This April was one of the first Easter holidays since I remarried that my blended family, or party of five as I call it, didn’t celebrate Jesus’ resurrection together. We were leaving my parents’ house and rushing home because Kaleb’s and Brayden’s mom would be bringing them back earlier than planned.

“Why can’t we just be a ‘normal’ family?” I asked myself … “a family where we get to make all of the decisions and don’t have to consult with others.”

I often try and take the victor roll in my thoughts but that day, that moment, I was playing the victim. Victimhood is an enemy of our minds and keeps us fixated on anything outside of God, believing the lie that we are at the mercy of our circumstances, which can be easy to do when we’ve lost our husbands.

Though Keith and my two bonus sons are miracles in our lives, remarriage and blending a family after widowhood can bring its own unique challenges. Thoughts like these can easily creep in, if we let them.

“You OK?” Keith asked. “I think so,” I replied. But I wasn’t. That’s when I began to pray. I thought of Keith, Ty, Kaleb and Brayden, my parents, all of my family and friends, and the Lord’s provision in my darkest of days. That is when the Lord reminded me that shifting my mind toward gratitude can make all the difference.

“I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Philippians 4:10-13 NIV

When Paul wrote his letter of joy to the Philippians, he was actually bound in chains. But he understood that, as Christians, because we have been made new in Christ, we don’t have to live in fear and sorrow. He knew that in every circumstance, God was working to deliver him and redeem it into something good. Though these verses seem to elude to financial distress, I believe Paul was using these words for any dire situation.

As followers of Jesus, we do not have to grow bitter or anxious, because our happiness is anchored in something far greater than what we can see on this earth. We have the Spirit’s power that lives within us. We have a choice to focus our thoughts on the certainty that, no matter what comes our way, we are upheld by God’s righteous right hand.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10 NIV

God created us for gratitude. Current research has found just that. According to a study by Harvard Health, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness and “helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity and build stronger relationships.”

(Side note: I am not suggesting you can think your way out of mental illness. If you suffer from depression or a severe anxiety disorder, I encourage you to seek professional help. The Lord placed counselors and medical professionals on this earth for a reason. I know I have benefited from counseling!)

Sisters, our losses, failures and fears don’t have to cripple us–our confidence and living Hope is in Jesus Christ. The same power that raised Christ from the dead, and empowered Paul to trust even in the most desperate of circumstances, is fully accessible to us. Though at times it may seem impossible, we must lean into the One who makes all things possible, and strive for contentment and thankfulness in spite of our circumstances.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV

Lord, Give us a spirit of gratitude no matter what we face. We know you are with us and will strengthen us. We pray for joy and eternal hope in the midst of all of our circumstances. Amen.