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We are in the middle of a series on God’s goodness and we are so happy you have joined us. Each of our team members, past and present, have had to wrestle with this topic. Here’s the sixth in our series. At the end of the post you can find links to the previous articles.

And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”
Matthew 26:39 (ESV)

There was a time in my life when so much was going “wrong” that I felt like God had dumped a truck load of manure on my head. Have you ever felt that way? Prayers were unanswered. Peace could not be found. Pain grew with each breath. How was I supposed to believe God was still “good”?

My faith was shaken to its very core. I finally came face-to-face with Scripture and had a choice to make. Either God was still the God of the Old Testament whose name is Elohim, Strong One, who says to me, “Don’t be afraid. I am with you.” Either He was the God of the New Testament who silenced the storms and promises to always work our life’s events out to His glory. Or He wasn’t any of this- He was a fraud and a destroyer. I couldn’t accept that He was my enemy so I had to accept the other. I clung to Him as my Creator and Lover of my soul. It was all I had to hang on to.

When I had only God to cling to, I changed the focus of my prayers. Previously, my prayers had been really good, but really mine. I was convicted to change my prayers to simply, “Not my will, but Yours.” I wanted all kinds of great things, but I dropped all that baggage at the foot of the cross. I walked away with only those five words. And they were proof whether I really did trust God fully with my life.

This is where I return every time things seem to point to God’s not being good. We would never put these horrific events of death, loss, and grief in our testimonies, but God has chosen to trust us with these circumstances so we must trust Him with them too.

So do I trust Him or not? That is what it boils down to. Sometimes I fight with myself over the answer. I trust, but… No, that isn’t true trust. I have to trust completely. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

~Elizabeth

Other posts in this series: God is Good, God is Good-2, God is Good-3, God is Good-4, & God is Good-5.