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“For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen.”
Romans 11:36 (ESV)

My husband was my soul mate.

Folks ask me if our marriage was really that good. Others say when someone dies we only remember the good things.

Have you experienced that too? What do you think?

I’ve spent a great deal of time pondering this, wondering if in his death I was glorifying him, questioning “Were things really that good?”

Were there hard times? Bad times? Stress? Financial issues? Times when we were not sure we wanted to stay together?

You bet!

After a season of cleaning and clearing out, quiet time, and reflection, I’ve come to the conclusion I am not glorifying my husband.

Our relationship and marriage glorified God. We put Him first. Let me share what helped me answer this question. I learn best with a picture or image.

Imagine a house, one of those “fixer-uppers.” It’s the eyesore of the neighborhood, the one most folks would not even look at.

Abandoned… dilapidated… needs a roof… paint peeling… wrong colors…

The yard is overgrown. It’s dirty, needs new flooring and appliances. It needs work, tremendous work!

Oh, but under the surface and superficial stuff, there are good bones. There is a solid inner structure and a great foundation.

With the investment of hard work, you can see the potential for this “fixer-upper.” There is no doubt it can be the best house on the street.

Likewise, God saw our potential.

When we met, my husband and I were like the “fixer-upper” house. We were two very broken people, shattered, and in desperate need of repairs.

God was the foundation of our relationship. He was the foundation of our Marriage House.

Through the years we worked hard. Early on, we toiled through long days, into all hours of the night, aching until our fingers bled.

With a ”fixer-upper” house, there comes a point when the main structure is complete, you don’t have to work so hard. Now you get to see and enjoy the fruits of your labor.

After all the hard work is done, you begin to relax in the beauty and comfort of your home.

But quickly you learn the work is never truly over. Things break. Regular maintenance is essential.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 provided the building specifications for our marriage, the blueprint for our relationship. Love overcomes. Love never fails. Love abides forever, and there is nothing greater.

In our love, we sought to display the essence of God, for God is love!

It was at that point I lost my husband.

I’ve come to understand that people who wonder or question if it was “that good,” did not see the “before, ” only see the ”after,” a beautiful marriage house after twenty-one years of hard work, dedication, and love.

And to God, not my husband, be all the glory!

For His love, mercy and grace was our model.

Heavenly Father, thank You for the love and beautiful life I shared with my husband. To You and You alone, I give all the glory. I ask You to be with my sweet sisters who are wondering, pondering, questioning. Give them understanding too. With you all things are possible! Your love never fails. Amen.