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“Because of the tender mercy of our God,
by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven
to shine on those living in darkness
and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the path of peace.”
Luke 1:78-79 (NIV)

Grief can bring the torment of regrets.

It was a day I remembered soon after Steve’s homegoing. Instead of a wonderful memory of my life with Steve, one bringing peace and sweet comfort, I remembered being so mad for some forgotten reason. In the middle of my mad, I stomped across the yard, headed for his beloved tractor yelling, “I’m telling you right now. If something ever happens to you, I’M NEVER GETTING MARRIED AGAIN, EVER!” Though my back was to him as I marched angrily away, I am pretty sure he was rolling his eyes as he watched my backside move towards that tractor.

And then, just months later that ‘if something ever happens to you’ – happened. A major artery behind his heart ruptured and in a moment my husband, my best friend, the love from my youth left this earth.

I was shocked, broken, and shattered.

This boy, this man – there was never a time in my life when he was not part of it. We grew up together. He was my answer to a child’s prayer. “Dear Jesus, please let me grow up, get married, and have babies.”

Not only does grief slam us with unbearable and unrelenting pain, but it’s also as if grief can’t take the chance we might stand again – live again – experience joy again.

For so long after we lose our husbands, there is nothing good we can find or see in grief. It is our enemy — and a powerful one at that.

Memories of our husbands shatter our hearts. Even looking at their picture can bring unbearable sadness, so sometimes we don’t even look.

Grief like Glitter

Can grief be described as beautiful?

For a minute, let’s picture glitter as our grief.

Beautiful glitter now represents sadness and brokenness in our lives. We take the glitter and throw it into the air. Now we watch grief fall all around us — constantly reminding us of this terrible loss.

Too painful to see the evidence of grief in that glitter, we begin working to eliminate it. We sweep, scoop, and use every means possible to get rid of that grief. But as the saying goes, no matter how much time passes, like glitter, we will find grief in every corner.

But what if we changed our perspective about that glitter?

I have always loved snow globes. They are all beautiful and fascinating to me. You shake with all your might and watch the glitter fall as beautiful snowflakes on the designed scenery. But if glitter now becomes representative of our grief, the once beautiful becomes too painful to bear.

Today as your friend, sister, and fellow traveler down this journey of widowhood, I want to propose that we change our perspective about glitter.

No longer will we let the glitter found in every corner represent our grief.

With a change in our perspective, the glitter no longer represents the grief and the depth of the pain, but the most precious memories of the gift God gave to us and the chapters we shared with our husbands of our most wonderful stories.

Embrace the precious memories. Throw out the worthless, those regrets, because we have an enemy who will use those to keep our hearts in turmoil.

In that beautiful snow globe, picture Jesus.

The glitter is gently, quietly falling as beautiful snowflakes touch the ground. Through the silence and beauty of the moment, see Jesus, our Comforter.

Hear Him say with outstretched arms, “Come sit with Me a while.”

And all those things we heard at the beginning of our grief that broke our hearts as we heard the words spoken, Jesus begins to speak…

He leans close and whispers, “He really is in a better place, my child. No sadness, no pain. Perfectly whole. Trust Me in this.”

“Don’t become paralyzed in this grief. We both truly want your heart to be happy again. Let Me take away your grief.”

“Remember him. Let the joy of your memories heal your broken heart.”

Though this is a picture in our imaginations, can you see Jesus speak to your broken heart?

Through it all, we know and believe God is a good and faithful God.

So let the glitter fall. Pray for that beautiful glitter to shine in the corners of our hearts as a reminder of the most wonderful life God has given to us.

Stand silently in gratefulness with arms outstretched –see and feel the beauty of the glitter falling.

Heavenly Father, let us remember what has been given instead of being overwhelmed with grief. Help us allow the glitter to become a beautiful gift of remembrance. Amen