{{item.title | uppercase}}

…as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Colossians 3:13 ESV

Forgiveness

Becoming a widow thrusts us into learning a host of new skills at a time when we are overcome with the emotional toll of grief. In addition, we suddenly find ourselves single-handedly handling all the finances, household maintenance, house and auto repairs, caring for family members, etc.

It’s pretty shocking when I visit with other widows and learn about what they had to “take on” after their husbands died. Many have to also take on running their husband’s business or take care of livestock. Or other things like dealing with the court system and insurance companies. So many new skills to learn all while wading through the fog of grief.

But a skill that many of us have to develop in a greater capacity, one which we never anticipated as part of the process, is forgiveness.

Opportunities to Forgive

Thoughtless comments, not reaching out, walking away, expectations on how we should grieve, the list goes on. There are so many ways we can be hurt during our grieving process. Still, we have to find a way to forgive and keep moving forward. Notice I say “have to”. As Christians, we don’t have the option of not forgiving someone. Colossians 3:13 says it clearly, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. There aren’t any exceptions, no matter how justified you may feel in holding onto your anger. I know it is hard. E-X-T-R-E-M-E-L-Y hard sometimes!

My story

I had so many reasons not to forgive. My husband was killed by a drunk driver. The other driver was actually supposed to be in jail for a drug possession charge but they had “forgotten” to put him in jail. After killing my husband, he wasn’t arrested for 6 months until the day after he caused another head-on collision while under the influence. It took two years of multiple court appearances before they actually made a plea agreement where he served six years in jail for second-degree murder. Plenty of reasons to not only be angry with the man who killed my husband but also the legal system. But it is not God’s will that I stay angry and become bitter.

God commands us to forgive

We are commanded to forgive. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful expressions of God’s love. It is how He chose to demonstrate His love for us. By allowing His Son to go to the cross to pay the price for our sins. And He has equipped each of us to do the same for others through the power of His Spirit.

The Holy Spirit enabled me to go to the gentleman’s house, to hug him and tell him he was forgiven. It was also the Holy Spirit that enabled me to forgive the legal system and the people involved that did not provide a just outcome. Being able to forgive has brought me great peace and is a tremendous gift given by our Lord. Without a doubt, I know it was not done in my own strength. The Holy Spirit led me to a place of peace, I followed. I am forever grateful for the prayers of my church family and friends which filled in the gaps at those times when I may have faltered.

Forgiveness is our testimony

It doesn’t matter if it is a big offense or a little one. Or if the offense happens one time or seventy-seven times. Forgiveness is not dependent on if the offender has asked to be forgiven (Jesus went to the cross to forgive the sins of everyone – before we asked). The most powerful testimony we can give of God’s love and mercy is done the same way He does it – through forgiveness. Don’t forgive because you are “supposed to” or because doing it helps you feel better. Forgive because He forgave us. It is and should be for His Glory! And don’t hesitate because you don’t think you can – He will give you the power to act according to His will!

Dear heavenly Father, help us to be faithful in forgiving others just as You have forgiven us! Let us be a beacon of Your light, Your goodness, Your love, and Your mercy. For Your Glory! Amen.