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Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

My husband John loved Christmas. “Santa” John gave out candy canes at the St. Philip Church Christmas basket gift wrapping night. He distributed gifts to persons with special needs for Sunrise Communities. The family Christmas tree, outdoor lights, lavish gifts and every imaginable celebration were all his favorites of the season.

In fact I have always compared John’s absence from my life and my home as being what it’s like when you take the Christmas decorations and lights down. Everything is still the same, only there is no sparkle, shimmer, excitement, color, etc.

Despite the dark clouds of grief shadowing my first Christmas as a widowed, single mother, my son J.P. and I managed to decorate the smallest of our artificial trees to grace the living area. I was able to hurdle that emotional mountain by opening a stash of glass ornaments I had bought the previous year and had never used. These were “just” ornaments with no emotional attachments or memories to revisit. They did their job with no complications. The REAL ornaments would have to wait until I would be stronger emotionally.

Although John has been gone for thirteen Christmases, he remains part of our annual celebration. I have hung his Santa suit on display every year since his passing. The special ornaments he purchased as gifts for me hang on the tree with fond memories attached. Some of his Santa decorations have remained with me while other pieces now reside with family and friends. Photos, carols, ornaments, and countless little items grace my home in his memory.

However, last year brought another “first.” It was the first Christmas without my mother. She hosted the annual Christmas Eve family gathering. She cooked as long as she was able. She had presents, be it little ones, for every person. She had a birthday cake for Jesus and lead everyone in singing “Happy Birthday, Dear Jesus.” She showed us how to enjoy being with family.

As I decorated the tree in my living room last year, I realized there was something missing. Then I remembered the pink roses I dried from Mum’s funeral arrangement. So, I wrapped the cluster in a gold ribbon and nestled them in the tree. I think it added a bright spot to the foliage – a mother’s smile!

We all have to face the “first” of every special event as we grieve our loved ones that first year. It isn’t easy, but we can endure it with the Lord’s mercy. Remembering the love helps. How will you honor the memory of your loved one this first, twenty-first or forty-first Christmas?

Father, help us to seek Your “tidings of comfort and joy” while we celebrate the season of welcoming Your Son, Jesus. As we unwrap Your gift of Love, give us the ability to share comfort and joy with those around us. Amen