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“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in Me.”
John 14:1 (NIV)

A troubled heart and widowhood

Would you say the two very often go hand-in-hand?

Looking up the definition of ‘troubled’ in The Free Dictionary, I found:

adjective – trou·​bled | \ ˈtrə-bəld \

Definition of troubled

1. anxious, concerned, worried, upset, bothered, disturbed, distressed, dismayed, uneasy, unsettled, agitated, disconcerted, apprehensive, perturbed, ill at ease, discomposed

Have you found that the ‘troubled’ hearts we experience are not always tied to just the loss of our husbands? I realized this again recently while in my kitchen, where a sign hangs, “I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.” Not much cooking has taken place there since Steve passed away.

With my mother visiting, I decided to cook. Throwing egg shells into the disposal, I threw on the switch only to hear a noise that was not normal and see water rising up into the sink…where it stayed.

The next minutes found me listening to another ‘All You Have To Do’ video on YouTube then finding a plunger to try before calling a plumber.

At that moment, the cause of my troubled heart was a stopped up garbage disposal.

Exempt from Trouble

Sometimes, I just don’t feel strong enough to handle all the troubles on top of missing my husband. No matter what I’m feeling or the troubles I am facing, I have yet to find a badge telling me I am “Trouble Exempt.”

A reminder to trust

My mother has always been my greatest cheerleader. Sleeping with me that first night without Steve, she reached out, took my hand and prayed. She is the greatest prayer warrior I know.

Knowing me so well, my mother knows that a garbage disposal holds enough power to shove me over a teetering edge, right up there with destructive hogs, broken lawn equipment and her failing health. It all feels the same at times…just too much.

Sitting together outside the next morning in the wonderful, warm sunshine, praising the Lord that the plunger worked, she began to talk to me about fear. She certainly had my attention as my mother has never voiced any fear in all the years I have belonged to her.

“I am so afraid I will forget how to pray…forget how to trust the Lord.”

As we cried together, I asked my mother, “Will we ever be happy again?”

And in the next moment, her words, as in so many other times in my lifetime, were…

“We are going to keep our eyes on Jesus and trust Him.”

Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.
Isaiah 26:4 (KJV)

Trusting in the midst of trouble

“Be still, and know that I am God.”
Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

There are times, I feel a little like Pig Pen, the messy friend of Charlie Brown’s. Swirling around in that mess are things that trouble my heart and cause me to take my eyes off Jesus. It is then, I feel the arms of the Lord pull me close as He whispers, “I have you, Kathy. Be still, trust Me. You can always trust Me.” And the roar of the panic grows quiet and my heart is peaceful again.

An Everlasting Love

When trouble surrounds us, when we miss and long for the love we shared with our husbands, I pray that we will be reminded of the everlasting love we have of our Father God.

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)

Dear Heavenly Father, in these most turbulent days of trouble, please give us the strength to trust You completely. We are so thankful for the hope we have in You and for the assurance that one day we shall see You face-to-face and be reunited with all those we love so much. Amen